Admittedly, when I first saw the words “Speedo LZR,” I thought it was an abbreviation for “speedo loser.” As it turns out, in the world of competitive swimming, this space-aged suit is the polar opposite. (And yes, I just used the term “space age” without a hint of irony. Boner).

According to the Science of Sport blog, on its first professional outing, the swimmer with the Speedo LZR broke the world record…by two entire body lengths. Then the Women’s Dutch 4 x 200m relay team, equipped with the Speedo LZR, beat the world record (set 6 years back by China) by 8 seconds. I don’t know jack about professional competitive swimming, but even I know that’s kind of a big deal.

This brings to mind the whole juicing in sports argument: these people train every day for their profession; to be the best athlete, using all the technology available to get every ounce of power…so why not use drugs to further this concept? The problem is that unless everyone is doing the same drugs and has access to the same equipment and training, the competition would be unfair. Plus, you can’t make athletes who are ethically opposed to juicing use the stuff. We’re not living in a Brave new World just yet.

So in the case of the Speedo LZR, it might give the athlete an unfair technological advantage….unless every athlete was using them.

But on the other side of the coin, maybe to make it REALLY fair, they all should just swim naked, original Roman-Greko Olympics style. That would sure make the Women’s backstroke more interesting for me.

Here is your fun fact for the day: In West Virginia, more than a quarter of expectant mothers are ciggarette smokers, a number that is almost three times higher than the national average. But they’ve got good reason not to quit, because, as many claim, smoking while pregnant makes giving birth “easier.” I am sure that this theory is based on sound evidence. There is no way that, perhaps, these women just don’t feel as if they can handle quitting, with all the stress they are already under with their pregnancy, right? Pregnancy does instigate a perfect storm of raging hormones and physical pain, but that doesn’t excuse introducing extremely harmful toxins and poisins into your baby’s developing system. Because, unless you have some serious mental handicap, you should have had the sense to use some sort of protection when you engaged in that blissful act of physical passion, if you didn’t want the responsibility of carrying a life inside you. If said sense, for whatever reason, was not utilized, then you just have to grow the fuck up, I guess, and give up some things you may not really want to. Such is life. Let me digress here for a moment, and add that half the people that procreate shouldn’t, for a variety of reasons. Ever seen the Mike Judge film Idiocracy? That’s where we are headed, people. Dumbasses, like women who smoke while pregnant, breeding what will surely be more dumbasses. In surmation, I have two final words for the pregnant smokers in West Virginia, as well as all others across the globe: FUCK YOU.