Anybody up for a climb?

According to the Norwegian tabloid Verdens Gang, Kaja Bordevich Ballo, daughter of Norwegian Parliament member Olav Gunnar Ballo, reportedly took her own life [English translation] after scoring poorly on a Scientology personality test. There is some skepticism as to the validity of the report. The results of the test were time-stamped just hours before Ballo’s death, but this could merely be an excuse to cover up the real cause of death, given that Kaja comes from a politically motivated family.

As you may have heard, the personality test, also called the Oxford Capacity Analysis (OCA) or American Personality Analysis, is offered free by the Church of Scientology and comprises an integral part of their recruitment efforts. The test however, has been extensively criticized as it almost exclusively yields negative results. Here are some testimonials from people who have taken the test:
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I know you’ve been waiting on baited breath for Synthesis to chime in on the latest blog craze: “Is There A Naked Woman Reflected in VP Cheney’s Sun Glasses??? OMG!!!”

I’m no stranger to conspiracy theories (I even subscribe to a few myself), but let’s weigh the likelihood of the naked-lady-in-the-glasses theory in like this. Here’s what would need to happen:

1. Dick Cheney, hanging with a naked woman.
2. The hired photographer taking an official photograph of Cheney with a Naked Woman just hanging out by the side.
3. Secret security just hanging out, letting it happen.

Savor those ideas. Roll them around the tongue. Can’t help but spit that out, eh?

Here’s a thought: DICK CHENEY IS NOT HEF. Let’s review.

Hugh Hefner:

Vice President Dick Cheney:

Do we need to go over that again? Good.

Now, if Cheney was as good at marketing as he is at being an evil bastard, he would be marketing his own brand of Cheney Stunna Shades.

“Wanna have naked women reflected in your shades ALL THE TIME? Try a pair of Cheney Nunna Nunna Nunnas. Now in gold fleck!”

I’m not gonna tell the blogosphere to get their mind out of the gutter (far from it), but just think about this for a second, alright? Now listen to Chico’s The Hooliganz and get your slump on. And vote Obama. End of story.

People will do just about anything to make some scratch, apparently including peddling fake flu shots.

A Visalia, CA woman, who is still at large, has been posing as an employee of Kaweah Delta Hospital and making the rounds to local businesses, selling flu shots for the low, low price of twenty bucks a pop. The most amusing part is, people have actually been falling for the scam. But, then again, people are idiots. And this crafty woman is cashing in on that stupidity and the intense fear we industrious Americans have of getting sick and, fucking heaven forbid, having to be totally unproductive for a day or two. Not to mention that half the time you get a flu shot you get sick anyway, because they just don’t protect against every nasty bug out that is floating around out there in the atmosphere. So, unless you are very old, very young, or for some other reason have an extremely weak immune system, you could probably survive the flu season relatively unscathed if you simply boost your vitamin intake.

If you do find yourself unable to resist getting that all-powerful flu shot, go to a fucking shot clinic, for Christ’s sake, don’t just let some random woman who shows up at your job poke you with a needle, no matter how trustworthy she may seem.