Ms. Shawntae Harris, known to the public as Da Brat, was sentenced to three years in prison for an incident involving a cheerleader, a show of feminine machismo, and a subsequently broken rum bottle. May all her encounters with handcuffs and broom handles during her stay be pleasant ones.

From the Boston Herald:

Rapper Da Brat, born Shawntae Harris, has been sentenced to three years in prison after pleading guilty to hitting a hostess in the head with a rum bottle, Usmagazine.com reports.

The 34-year-old rapper was also sentenced to seven years’ probation, 200 hours of community service and completion of substance abuse treatment, mental evaluation and anger management classes.

“I love y’all,” she said to her relatives as a deputy hauled her away, the Atlanta-Journal Constitution reported. “We love you too,” came the family reply.

The assault occurred at a Halloween party in Atlanta’s Studio 72, when the rapper lived up to her name and got bratty. She got into a fight with then-Atlanta Falcons cheerleader Shayla Stevens, who was working as a hostess, The Associated Press reported.

Police said Harris and Stevens got into a disagreement after they bumped into each other. Stevens walked away and moments later was hit in the face with the bottle. The cheerleader was left with a deep cut to the cheek and a swollen forehead. She also has a permanent scar on her face.

This is not the first time, Harris, a native of Chicago and protege of Jermaine Dupri, has gotten physical. In 2000, she was arrested after she struck another woman at a bar. She was sentenced to 12 months’ probation at the time.

“The Little Death.” I had heard the term some time ago, but while reading Huxley’s Brave New World this weekend, the phrase popped up again, rekindling my curiosity. By context I knew it meant “orgasm,” but where did the invigorating saying come from?

In the old days I would have gone for an Encyclopedia, or perhaps the school library, and it would have taken me hours to find out what Wikipedia just spat out at me:

La petite mort, French for “the small death”, is a reference for sexual orgasm. The term has generally been interpreted to describe the post-orgasmic fainting spells[1] or unconsciousness some lovers experience.
Mentioned briefly in Jean Rhys ‘Wide Sargasso Sea’ as Rochester talks of his sexual relationship with his new wife.
“Then try, try, say die and watch me die.’ ‘Die then! Die! I watched her die many times”
More widely, it can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm, or a short period of melancholy or transcendence, as a result of the expenditure of the “life force”.
A recent study of brain activation patterns using Positron Emission Tomography (PET) give some support to the experience of a small death:
To some degree, the present results seem to be in accordance with this notion, because female orgasm is associated with decreased blood flow in the orbitofrontal cortex, a part of the brain that is crucial for behavioural control.[2]

Ah, progress! Death in itty bitty doses. We are, of course, left to extrapolate that “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” by the Cutting Crew is about “la petite mort.”

I bring you Wikipedia’s article on Adolf Hitler’s Sexuality.

[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Coming Soon

It’s a well-known fact that people like to adapt movies from books. It’s also a well-known fact that most of these efforts suck. So it’s my job to warn you about upcoming adaptations so you have ample time to read the book. This gives you the chance to complain about inconsistencies and general “suckiness” while still in the theater, making you look learned and therefore more attractive. You can thank me later.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, July 4th: This is a documentary, so I guess it won’t really do to get mad about liberties taken with the adaptation. But it can’t hurt to read some of the famous Gonzo’s work if only for your own amusement. From the description it seems like the filmmakers are big fans, which can be bad in a documentary if you’re trying to eek out truth. The gist I get is that the point the film makes is that Thompson did what journalists are too afraid to do nowadays, namely get high and write caustic things about politicians. This may be true, but I easily tire of ‘60s and ‘70s nostalgia. Sure people were a bit crazier back then and I’m sure there are things to be learned from that era, but it’s over, so deal.

Journey To the Center of the Earth 3D, July 11th: Based on the classic Jules Verne novel about a rogue scientist who travels to, you guessed it, the center of the earth. According to Wikipedia, this novel didn’t age as well as some of Verne’s other works, because he was mostly wrong about what is contained in the center of the earth. However, none of that really matters because this movie is in 3D. And I will watch anything in 3D, even if it stars Brendan Fraser.

more upcoming adaptations after the jump.
(more…)

One Rock ‘n’ Roll legend down. Bo Diddley, rest in peace.

From Wikipedia:

On May 17, 2007, Bo Diddley was reported [13] to be in intensive care in Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska, following a stroke during a concert at Council Bluffs, Iowa on May 13. He had a history of hypertension and diabetes, and tests indicated that the stroke affected the left side of his brain, impairing his speech and speech recognition. A spokeswoman said there were no further details on his condition, or how long he would be in hospital. A later report indicated that Diddley was in “guarded” condition.[14]

While recovering from the massive stroke and heart attack, he came back to his home town of (McComb) for the unveiling of a plaque, on the National Blues Trail devoted to him. The plaque stated he was “acclaimed as a founder of rock and roll.” He was not supposed to perform but as he listened to the music of local musician Jesse Robinson, who sang a song written for this occasion, Robinson sensed Bo Diddley wanted to perform and handed him a microphone. That was the first time Bo Diddley performed publicly since his stroke and heart attack.[15]

On June 2, 2008, Bo Diddley died at 79 of heart failure at his home in Archer, Florida

Bo Diddley

So the thing about the internet that kind of sucks is that, you get in the habit of being able to find out basically anything you need to find out. Especially when you’re kind of a Google Sav like me, you can literally mine for data on any subject and come up with something EXCEPT, it seems: THE GODDAMN COCKSUCKING SLEEPYTIME BEAR. I mean, to me, Sleepytime Tea and it’s mascot are as ubiquitous as Pepsi or Campbell’s soup or whatever. I’ve been drinking that shit since I was born, nahmean? So you would think, in this day and age when everything that is anything is online and searchable, that finding out who originally drew said bear, and where I can get at some fucking original prints to hang on my mantle to worship in front of as I drink my Sleepytime every night would be easy, but NO! I can’t find fucking jack shit. Wikipedia doesn’t even have a Sleepytime Tea page. WTF! They have a Wikipedia page for fucking every stupid thing on the entire planet, including two for DICK CHEESE. Celestial Seasonings, the compay that makes Sleepytime, even has a whole gallery devoted to the artists who draw their packaging. But did they have anything on Sleepytime? FUCK NO. They also have product page devoted to Sleepytime….but NO ARTIST CREDIT. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Anyway, what I’m trying to say, if you’re the person responsible for the genius that is the Sleepytime Bear, fucking get at me ASAP I want to be IN YOUR LIFE.