[The following article, written by Bob Howard for Synthesis Weekly, was originally published in the print version of Synthesis on Monday, May 19th, 2008. He can be reached at bob@madbob.com]

Keep on Drinking
By Bob Howard

“Be it destiny or free will, there are those amongst us who might do the rest of society a favor by staying on the couch, taking bong rips and playing the latest version of Grand Theft Auto.”

A Long History of Stupid: I’ve just started reading a biography of long-time FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, and as a result, I’m learning quite a lot about the history of this country and the tradition of our government cracking down on dissent. This latest episode of our history is far from the first time the Bill of Rights has been superseded and suspended in the name of “security.” I have yet to grasp the logic of suspending freedoms to ensure security when I thought that the whole thing we are trying to secure in the first place is freedom; but I digress.
Anyway, here are some interesting factoids I’ve picked up thus far: Remember when in protest of the French dissent against the “War on Terror” our Congress made the brilliant move of re-naming French Fries “Freedom Fries?” Seems like a pretty creative manifestation of nationalistic stupidity, right? Wrong. During World War I, our Congress re-named Sauerkraut “Liberty Cabbage.” Our current stupidity isn’t even original! How do you like that?

Think the threat of terrorism is a new thing? Wrong. Just prior to and then after World War I, the Red Scare developed. Anarchists and Communists were on the rise and there were actually a series of letter bombs and bomb attacks that riddled the nation’s capitol and industrial power figures.
These attacks lead to a complete abridgment of the freedoms granted in the Bill of Rights. Anyone suspected of being a communist, a socialist, or a sympathizer — essentially any Russian factory worker — was rounded up in mass arrests and many were unceremoniously deported so quickly that there wasn’t even time for an appeal.

More heartwarming thoughts after the jump. (more…)

Even if you’re not a Christian, I’m sure you know about the seven deadly sins - lust, gluttony, avarice, sloth, anger, envy and pride - the seven cardinal vices that supposedly damned ones soul to eternal damnation. Well apparently not enough people are fucking up these days, because the Vatican has announced seven new additions to the list. Unlike their predecessors, the new deadly sins are a little less concise, and a little more controversial. They include:

Taking or dealing in drugs
Polluting the environment
Engaging in “manipulative” genetic science
Pedophilia
Abortion
Social injustices that cause poverty
The excessive accumulation of wealth by a few

The thing about these sins is that they’re nothing really new. It’s like when Taco Bell gets a new “Crunchy Cheesy Wrapped Super Supreme” whatever-the-fuck: its just the same shit put together in a different way. I mean, I’m sure they’re well intentioned and all but has fear of hell ever really stopped people from fucking off? I mean, Catholic Priests, supposedly the “intermediaries between Man and Divinity” get more little boy ass than an elementary school toilet seat. And “excessive accumulation of wealth?” Wigger please! From a Time Magazine article:

Bankers’ best guesses about the Vatican’s wealth put it at $10 billion to $15 billion. Of this wealth, Italian stockholdings alone run to $1.6 billion, 15% of the value of listed shares on the Italian market. The Vatican has big investments in banking, insurance, chemicals, steel, construction, real estate.

And besides, they forgot puppy throwing…