Sometime in 2005 I made a journey to New Zealand. Most of the details of this trip are very irrelevant to the purpose of this post, so don’t mind as I skip to a certain story.

Me and a friend I was traveling with were hitch-hiking from Nelson Creek NZ (after visiting the Nelson Creek Skateboard factory) to a remote town also on the South Island of New Zealand. It was raining, damn hard and freaking cold. A kind, yet eccentric man pulled over and offered us a well-recieved ride. His car was packed, he could barely fit our bags, let alone us and our damp fabrics. He strongly expressed that he would normally never pick up a hitch-hiker, but that this time he had some sort of hunch that we were American.

It didn’t take me long to label him as your run-of-the-mill conspiracy nut, filled with facts, fears and rationalizations about the government. But as time went on intellect and genius began to peak through his fact-less arguments. He talked heavily about the health care scam, false prophecies, the world bankers’ scam and New Orleans (which had happened 5-6 weeks earlier). He explained how humans were to be sorted into categories once martial law took place; green for the fully impressioned (zombies), yellow for those who needed further conditioning (the sell-outs) and red, those who would be a ‘danger’ to society and would need to be terminated (the revolutionaries). After that bit I was sure the guy was crazy, and nothing really sunk in until he made a certain direct prophecy, one that stuck with me all these years.

He predicted that the United States was going to ‘kill’ a spy satellite, and this event would somehow cause a conflict with Russia, thus starting a major conflict, such as a nuclear war. He also said this would happen Early 2008.

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Our generation just can’t text enough: we do it in class, at work, out on hot dates, basically whenever and wherever. Although I am a part of this generation, I just don’t get the allure of taking five minutes to type something that you could say in three seconds. Or, for that matter, why some people so desperately feel the need to constantly be in contact with their buddies while what they really should be doing is focusing on more productive tasks - like learning or working. Pretty much the only time I can conceive of that texting is logical is when you are stuck in a noisy environment and have something that is actually pertinent to tell someone - like where and/or when to meet you for a drink. Apparently, some have an opinion about texting so far removed from mine that they believe it a swell idea to text while driving. Are you kidding me? Anyway - to deal with this problem, a few states are imposing fines for driving while texting (DWT). Washington passed an ordinance that allows for a $101 fine for DWTs earlier this year, and Oregon drivers may face a hefty $720 fine for DWTs soon, if the law is passed there as well. I think this is a stellar idea, and if you disagree you are probably one of those people that put other peoples lives in danger on a daily basis because you feel it imperative to tell your friends about your meaningless daily activities without waiting until you get out of the car - so your opinion doesn’t matter. Just kidding, I’ve got some good news for you special people as well. Thanks to those amazingly gifted folks at Virtual Management Inc., you don’t ever have to stop texting while driving! They are developing a nifty little device called an Electronic Virtual Assistant that allows you to dictate your text messages and emails as well as have received messages read to you (which seems kind of similar to talking on the phone, but, whatever) through a hands-free kit - all for under $20 a month. It even has a database to store old messages up to ten years old. Don’t you just love technology?

Local indie-rock sex icons Bear Hunter are heading out tomorrow to spread the love up the west coast. If you live in OR, WA or Northern California, check them out. Rumor has it they bought a 30 foot fire breathing robot just for this tour’s stage show, but my sources are less than credible.

Sep 14 2007 9:00P
Diablo’s Downtown Lounge with Three Guys That Paint and Redox Eugene, Oregon

Sep 15 2007 9:00P
Boundary Bay Brewery with The Loyal Sinners Bellingham, Washington

Sep 16 2007 9:00P
The Comet with Gozer (members of Vindaloo), Knives in the Attic and Preons Seattle, Washington

Sep 18 2007 8:00P
15th Street Pub with Dos Sorella Vancouver, Washington

Sep 19 2007 8:00P
Grapedrink Portland, Oregon

Sep 20 2007 9:00P
Red White & Brew with Belda Beast & History (Invades) Redding, California

Sep 21 2007 8:00P
The Stork Club with Electric Jellyfish, USA 4 LSD, Kreamy Lectric Santa & Saything Oakland, California

Sep 22 2007 9:00P
Old Ironsides with Trainwreck Revival Sacramento, California

You can pick up the new disk, ‘You Will Be Heard’, right here.

Michael Leavitt’s Art Army Guerilla Crew is exhibiting at BLVD Gallery in Seattle, Washington. Leavitt has been creating figures for his Art Army for a while now, but his new installment of the Art Army Guerilla Crew is on some shit as he has created characters of Bansky, Lady Pink, Futura, Seen, Dondi, Shepard Fairey, Slick Rick, ODB, Basquat, Tupac, Fafi, and Jason Lee.

see more after the jump

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