[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Coming Soon

It’s a well-known fact that people like to adapt movies from books. It’s also a well-known fact that most of these efforts suck. So it’s my job to warn you about upcoming adaptations so you have ample time to read the book. This gives you the chance to complain about inconsistencies and general “suckiness” while still in the theater, making you look learned and therefore more attractive. You can thank me later.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, July 4th: This is a documentary, so I guess it won’t really do to get mad about liberties taken with the adaptation. But it can’t hurt to read some of the famous Gonzo’s work if only for your own amusement. From the description it seems like the filmmakers are big fans, which can be bad in a documentary if you’re trying to eek out truth. The gist I get is that the point the film makes is that Thompson did what journalists are too afraid to do nowadays, namely get high and write caustic things about politicians. This may be true, but I easily tire of ‘60s and ‘70s nostalgia. Sure people were a bit crazier back then and I’m sure there are things to be learned from that era, but it’s over, so deal.

Journey To the Center of the Earth 3D, July 11th: Based on the classic Jules Verne novel about a rogue scientist who travels to, you guessed it, the center of the earth. According to Wikipedia, this novel didn’t age as well as some of Verne’s other works, because he was mostly wrong about what is contained in the center of the earth. However, none of that really matters because this movie is in 3D. And I will watch anything in 3D, even if it stars Brendan Fraser.

more upcoming adaptations after the jump.
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MSNBC newscaster Keith Olbermann made some very harsh criticisms of President Bush and his recent comments in an online interview. Most thoroughly lambasted would be Bush’s remarks on giving up golf in wake of the Iraqi war. Read key transcriptions and view Olbermann’s commentary here.

Am I the only one who thinks Commanding General of the Multi-National force in Iraq General David Petraeus shares more than a passing likeness with Saturday Night Live star Dana Carvey? The chin. The cheekbones. The overall facial structure. The witty sense of humor (i.e, Wayne’s World; belief that we can win in Iraq).

During a recent campaign speech in Florida, John McCain warned the crowd “I’m sorry to tell you, there’s going to be other wars. We will never surrender but there will be other wars.” How’s that for optimism? According to political pundit and former Republican Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, a vote for McCain is basically a vote for war with Iran.

“You get John McCain in the White House, and I do believe we will be at war with Iran. There’s no doubt John McCain is going to be a war president. … His whole career is wrapped up in the military, national security. He’s in Putin’s face, he’s threatening the Iranians, we’re going to be in Iraq a hundred years.”

Buchanan’s not exaggerating about Iraq either. John McCain actually said he’s fine with that too:

He later clarifyied that troops could be there ‘thousand years’ or ‘a million years,’ for all he cares. Talk about legacy.

To make matter worse, John McCain is a certified Myspace STEALER:

John McCain’s people commandeered my world-renowned MySpace design template and did a few things wrong:

They did not credit me for the template, even though the template explicitly requested credit.

They used my own unmodified imagery, specifically for the “Contacting John McCain” table.

As if #2 wasn’t bad enough, the McCain crew is actually pulling their image directly from my server on each page load. So every time someone visits the McCain MySpace page, my bandwidth is being used to deliver part of the page! Bad McCain!

Luckily this led directly to lulz:

The McCain campaign of course immediately swung into action, dispatching their obviously crack squad of 1337 Myspace page cr34t0r5 to solve the problem. Or not.

So anyways, if you want a president who loves war, thinks the internet is a series of tubes, and looks like the emperor from Star Wars, VOTE MCCAIN ‘08!!111

Brian De Palma’s Redacted(Magnolia Pictures) opens 11/16, and so far the right wing media is really STOKED on it:

“Brian DePalma ..should be ASHAMED. (Redacted) will incite young Muslim men, already steeped in hatred toward America and the West, to act on their hatred. If just one of those men straps on a bomb vest and murders people, that is on Brian DePalma.” Bill O’Reilly

“A case for TREASON” patdollard.com

Okay, I’m interested.

The film’s tagline:
“Truth is the first casualty of war”

Okay, really interested.

The Trailer:

Okay…wtf? That’s a pretty lackluster trailer. I know, negative space, disembodied voices…possibly intriguing to some, but it really doesn’t do anything for me. But judge not a movie by its trailer I suppose.

Redactedis a fictional story based on the true events that led up to America’s invasion of Iraq, and focuses on the trifecta of fucked: the media, the soldiers and the Iraqi people.

Centered around a small group of American soldiers stationed at a checkpoint in Iraq, REDACTED alternates points of view, balancing the experiences of these young men under duress and members of the media with those of the local Iraqi people, illuminating how each have been deeply affected by the current conflict and their encounters with each other.