IT’S A CAR CHASE!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

Me? Like everyone else who filed paper returns instead of online and has a social security number ending in 39 and above, I’m still waiting form my mad money….money which I plan on investing in Eastern European economy. But if you want to find out how others are helping to, uh, rebuild our economy, check out HowISpentMyStimulus.com.

The following is a Synthesis Weekly column penned by Bob Howard, whose written works can also be found here

…Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it’s eight times as good as any other method. Its worst fault is that its leaders reflect their constituents…”

- Jubal Harshaw from Robert Heinlein’s Science Fiction Classic “Stranger in a Strange Land.”

Here is an amazing factoid. President George W. Bush holds the record for both the highest and the lowest approval ratings since the inception of the Gallup Poll. In the days following 911 his ratings were in the 90’s - now they have sunk down to the 20’s. Do you ever imagine he must scratch his head sometimes and think “what the hell do these people want?” To me this doesn’t represent any dramatic shift in the man or his policies but rather the fickle and schizoid temperament of a population so focused on the zen of immediate gratification and the satisfaction of every conceivable urge that consequence has become not just an after-thought but a non-thought. Then we wake up and look around at the wasteland gross consumption has made of the world around us and go “hey, what the fuck? This sucks!”

So as we sow so shall we reap… I read that someplace or another. Fuck it, pop another pill, pour another drink, shovel some more processed food into our ever-fattening faces - its all going over the cliff now anyway. Everything under the sun is “green” but our level of CO2 emissions hasn’t gone down an iota since Al Gore’s eye-opening climate change documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” came out two years ago. Lip service and clever marketing campaigns are all we have to show for an awful lot of good intentions and even a little bit of hard work.

I’m starting to think this whole thing is bullshit. The ones talking the most about climate change seem to overlap neatly with the same ones leaving the largest “carbon footprints” - the globe-trotting celebrities, the politicians in their private jets, the educated upper-middle class with their air-conditioned McMansions and their ever intact sense of entitlement. Sure it’s a lovely idea to actually cut our consumption - but that would mean we might actually sweat and feel hungry once in awhile! Intolerable. Doesn’t fit in with the whole “satisfy every craving immediately” philosophy that defines the American existence in this year of our Lord 2008.

The Thing That Would Not Die

Hillary Clinton is decidedly still in the race after what is looking like a decisive 10 point victory in Pennsylvania. I don’t know what I think about that. Ask me now and again in five minutes and I’ll likely give you two completely contradictory answers. I like that this primary is actually up for grabs but I also can’t stomach the idea of a continuation of the policies of the last eight years and it seems like the longer the democrats squabble over the nomination the more likely it is no matter who gets it will end up being defeated by another stodgy old white dude in a dark suit bowing down to the gods of corporate enterprise and industry. Wonderful.
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