After a 450 year lapse in eruption, Chile’s Chaiten volcano spewed ash and lava more than 12 miles into the sky. The eruption prompted evacuations, with some people fleeing to neighboring Argentina.

Rodrigo Rojas of the National Emergency Office said the situation had deteriorated suddenly.

“Today the volcano is erupting with pyroclastic material on a different scale,” he said.

Luis Lara, a government geologist, said he did not expect a catastrophic collapse of the volcano, but “the eruptive column could, and that is sufficient material to be displaced down its sides and into areas nearby”.

Now for some even heavier apocalyptic misery: Indonesia’s Mount Kelud is poised to burst and bloom all over Java Island at any moment. The last time this beast erupted, in 1990, 5,160 people died. There are currently 30,000-plus villagers who’ve been evacuated, and with Pope John Paul II appearing in a goddamned fire earlier in the week, it’s not looking good for the islanders. Somewhere in movieland, Joe is hopping a plane to Java Island.