Video Matt comes through with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR new Paramore videos on our YouTube channel. And you thought that dude who was selling her childhood drawings on eBay was bad. At least he was her stepdad. We ain’t even kin.

Actually, it’s kinda funny. This skit features Tim & Eric as well. Good for an uncomfortable laugh.

Admittedly I was still half-asleep, but yesterday morning I swear I caught a news piece on the BBC claiming that animal husbandry specialists are showing zoo-confined pandas some videos of pandas humping. In other words, panda porn. Apparently these beasts only mate in a couple-day window per year, and pandas in captivity usually have no interest in getting down, prompting scientists to come up with, uh, marital aids. No proof that this works yet, but the scientists apparently like it.

Ah, here’s the article.

And in other Panda news, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww:

For more awesome Panda Cuteness, please consult the BBC Here.

I mean he’s no Chopper but whatever, at least he TOTALLY GOES OFF ONSTAGE. In other news the band’s new record I’m Only a Man in in stores now so fucking BUY IT. And their tour starts this week, in Lawrence, KS - which I’ve deemed the Chico of the Midwest - so if you’re lucky enough to live there go to the fucking show and tell Dave Powell to stop smoking cigarettes.

EMERY TOUR ZOMG

10/19 Lawrence, KS
10/20 Sauget, IL
10/21 Chicago, IL
10/22 Minneapolis, MN
10/24 Englewood, CO
10/25 Magna, UT
10/26 Boise, ID
10/27 Seattle, WA
10/28 Portland, OR
10/30 San Francisco, CA
10/31 San Francisco, CA
11/01 Hollywood, CA
11/02 Las Vegas, NV
11/03 San Diego, CA
11/04 Tempe, AZ
11/06 San Antonio, TX
11/07 Dallas, TX
11/08 Houston, TX
11/09 Little Rock, AR
11/10 Atlanta, GA
11/11 St. Petersburg, FL
11/12 Lake Buena Vista, FL
11/13 Ft. Lauderdale, FL
11/15 North Myrtle Beach, SC
11/16 Charlotte, NC
11/17 Norfolk, VA
11/18 Baltimore, MD
11/19 Cincinnati, OH
11/20 Cleveland, OH
11/25 Philadelphia, PA
11/26 New York, NY
11/27 Boston, MA
11/28 Montreal, QC
11/29 Toronto, ON
11/30 Pontiac, MI B

I never played V:tM or anything, but when no one’s looking, I like listen to female-fronted Euro prog/goth metal. I’m not sure if I really like it, but I like to listen to it. Maybe it’s all the pomp and circumstance, or the beautiful women in corsets, or because when I was in high school, I used to read Tolkien and Anne Rice novels in the library instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria.

This is getting embarrassing.

Uh…yeah… After Forever are from Holland. And now they’re coming to the US and Canada for the first time. Here are the tour dates and videos, after the jump. (more…)

Check out Video Matt’s interview with New York post-spocks The Honorary Title at the San Francisco stop of their current tour with Cartel. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll hurl. When you’re done, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and watch the 234239 other videos currently featured on our fucking fantabulous YOUTUBE CHANNEL including interviews with the aforementioned Cartel, Paramore, The Fall of Troy, and basically anyone else you would see at The Warped Tour. YA HEARD?