I know you’ve been waiting on baited breath for Synthesis to chime in on the latest blog craze: “Is There A Naked Woman Reflected in VP Cheney’s Sun Glasses??? OMG!!!”

I’m no stranger to conspiracy theories (I even subscribe to a few myself), but let’s weigh the likelihood of the naked-lady-in-the-glasses theory in like this. Here’s what would need to happen:

1. Dick Cheney, hanging with a naked woman.
2. The hired photographer taking an official photograph of Cheney with a Naked Woman just hanging out by the side.
3. Secret security just hanging out, letting it happen.

Savor those ideas. Roll them around the tongue. Can’t help but spit that out, eh?

Here’s a thought: DICK CHENEY IS NOT HEF. Let’s review.

Hugh Hefner:

Vice President Dick Cheney:

Do we need to go over that again? Good.

Now, if Cheney was as good at marketing as he is at being an evil bastard, he would be marketing his own brand of Cheney Stunna Shades.

“Wanna have naked women reflected in your shades ALL THE TIME? Try a pair of Cheney Nunna Nunna Nunnas. Now in gold fleck!”

I’m not gonna tell the blogosphere to get their mind out of the gutter (far from it), but just think about this for a second, alright? Now listen to Chico’s The Hooliganz and get your slump on. And vote Obama. End of story.

Call ‘em a sell out but Vice just got paid either way. How so? Check the cover, son!

Like one-hit-wonder Five said 10 years ago, “Baby when the lights go out, I’ll show you what it’s all about…” BMW glow in the dark ad on the FRONT COVER! EFF WIT IT!!!!!!!

I like this lil feature much better than the fake pubes they put in one of the last issues. Those ended up on my favorite bar of triple milled Australian soap, thanks to my roommate. Hit him up on MySpace and tell him he’s a jerk! Here’s a trip down memory lane for you bubblegum lovahs: REAL TIMEEEE!