Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

If you would be offended by a video of an old man getting run over in the middle of the street, then nobody helping him, then you probably shouldn’t watch this.

An 78-year-old man was badly injured in a hit-and-run accident - he is in critical condition and the culprit is still at large. Connecticut police have released this video, “to show what we have become.”

American cities are gnarly as F.

Continuing our ceaseless coverage of local international sensation The Collective Sound, the summer School of Rock-style band camp locate din Chico, please enjoy Episode 6.

www.thecollectivesound.com

While the rest of the world is beginning to face a major food crisis, prompting the UN to get off their collective fat ass, Americans are still trying their best to lose weight. Today on the Morning Show, one of the topics was the HCG Diet, which includes injecting HCG (Human ChorioGonadotropin) Hormone while eating a daily 500-calorie diet. Hey, here’s an idea:

How about instead of injecting your body with hormones and starving yourself, JUST EAT LESS. Try getting off the HOG diet.

Here’s another idea: instead of driving every single place you go, work off some of that FAT ASS of yours and ride a bike. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs. You fat ass piece of shit.