Would you purchase and gulp down an energy drink called “PUSSY”?

Gordon Ramsay from the show “The F Word” in the UK said, “It’s got some natural energy in the Pussy…go on…taste your Pussy. Do you like the Pussy, was that good?”

Channel 4 received tons of complaints for his comments, whoops! Watch yo mouth!

There’s a new movie opening in the UK this week titled Donkey Punch. Yes, the plot has to do with an actual donkey punch and from the trailer it looks like it kills the girl. Fox news is outraged by the donkey punch. Watch this trailer. Who would’ve thought you could make a mainstream film about this “act”?

What else is there to do on a rainy day off in Leeds? Youtube Van Halen videos, what else?

…Love shitty music.  Especially dance music, it’s never ending and everyone knows all the words.  I guess I’m over here because of their taste in music, so I can’t really complain. I’m pretty much adapted to this place, for the most part, I just try to accept things the way they are and not dwell on the fact that they don’t make sense, like my last sentence.  I’m currently in Nottingham, the Goo Goo Dolls are playing next door to us tonight, we got passes to go watch Johnny Reznik and that other, more portly dude hack it up later on.   Should be interesting.

Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

So I’ve been in the UK for a few days now and I’m still getting used to how things work around this place.  the first thing that threw me off is their money, it’s totally pointless, I have a pocket full of change that is worth, if converted to the American dollar, a whole shitload.  I found that the majority of people dislike Americans, especially if you show up at “their” pub and try to have a good time.  Little kids here are complete shitheads, today I was called a longhaired cunt and had rocks and pens thrown at me by four 12 year olds.  Don’t ever take pictures of shithead kids, this will happen to you too.  220volt power is the dumbest thing ever invented.  Glastonbury Festival, while cool, hip and elite, actually is a giant hippy fest headlined by some bands I have never heard of.  British accents aren’t cool, especially when someone is telling you something you should remember.  Try packing your mouth full grapes and then say a sentence to someone, see how much they understand what is being said.  Everyone here is a lush.  This is actually a good thing, except that 16 year old can drink me under the table.  And the number one thing I can’t and refuse to get used to is…..  the damn food.  It’s the worst stuff I’ve ever had.  They can’t make breakfast, scrambled eggs are apparently the hardest food to make taste good.  The fish and chips are alright, they would have been better if they took the bones out though.  After reading this over I’m wondering how I’m going to survive another two weeks here?  I’ll figure it out I guess.  At least it looks nice.