$175 3-day “Early Bird” passes are on sale now, so you better get on that shit before you’re paying a scalper with an eight ball and your 3-week old baby. After the “Early Bird” tickets are sold out, $190 “Advance” 3-Day passes go on sale…followed by Regular Old “Jacking Up The Prices For the Fuck of It” $205 tickets.

So quick, go here and SPEND early birds, SPEND. But on what, exactly?

Details haven’t really been announced, but the main speculation in the blogosphere (blech) is that Radiohead will be headlining. The date of the show is August 1st - 3rd at Grant park in Chicago, that’s for sure. Otherwise, it’s a big question mark with a bigger dollar sign attached to it. The 130-band lineup will be announced on April 7th. Talk about rolling the dice! Yes, the possibility of Radiohead headlining makes for a good pitch, and given the Lollapalooza track record there’s most likely going to be some awesome groups announced. Still, that does not leave out the possibility of Radiohead playing for an hour, and Satellite Party doing handfuls of ecstasy pills and playing the rest of the weekend…

Go Perry GO!

St. Louis Cardinal Scott Spiezio — a former member of the Anaheim Angels and best best remembered for his 2002 game six home-run off San Francisco’s Felix Rodriguez — has once again found himself in trouble. Spezio apparently sped off in his BMW last December after a bout of vodka swilling at a Newport Beach bar. After cutting across traffic and crashing into a fence, Spiezio fled the scene on foot, eventually arriving at a friends apartment. Once there, Spiezio proceeded to vomit and attack his friend, leading to charges of aggravated assault. Today, upon hearing news of a warrant out for Spiezio’s arrest, the Cardinals promptly cut him. After missing considerable time due to substance abuse last season the decision was made with little outward remorse.

I for one say good riddance. Spiezio has always been a tool anyway. From his lame ass “metal” band Sand Frog, to his high-school looking dyed red flavor savor, I for one would not miss his presence at the big league level. I even met Spiezio once when I was a kid attending a spring training BBQ in 1997. Like a bunch of 12 year olds, we lined up for his autograph, being that he was one of a handful of ball players to attend the gathering. We didn’t even care that he stunk. When it was my turn for a signature, he looked at my basketball jersey and baggy shorts, and in a snide voice told me, “Pull your pants up.” Like I said, he’s a really cool guy.

Check out the video for “Vicarious” the first Tool video to use entirely CGI. Before you get bummed out that there’s no puppets jerking off and meat flowing through pipes or whatever, take a few hits of DMT, check out this video and discover the secrets of the universe.

So besides being one of the most epic bands ever in fucking rock history, our friends in Kinski are also super fucking nice guys. Which is why I’m super ultra stoked to forward this bulletin the band just sent out.

We’re as shocked as you’re about to be

We’re going on tour with Tool! For a month! It starts Monday! In Reno !

Here’s the dates:

30 Apr Reno , NV - Reno Event Center
02 May San Diego, CA - Cox Arena
03 May San Diego, CA - Cox Arena
05 May Las Cruces, NM - Pan American Center
06 May Tucson, AZ - Convention Center Arena
08 May Albuquerque, NM - Tingley Coliseum
09 May Colorado Springs, CO - World Arena
11 May Wichita, KS - Kansas Coliseum
12 May Council Bluffs, IA - Mid America Center
15 May Southaven, MS - DeSoto Center
16 May FT. Worth, TX - Ft. Worth Convention Center
17 May Bossier City, LA - Centurytel Arena
19 May Oklahoma City, OK - Ford Center
21 May San Antonio, TX - AT&T Center
22 May Corpus Christi , TX - American Bank Center
24 May Baton Rouge , LA - River Center
25 May Pensacola , FL - Pensacola Civic Center
26 May Birmingham , AL - Verizon Wireless Music Center

These places are big, so you should come and stare in disbelief.

XXOO
Kinski