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In Soviet Russia, Victim Rapes You
Author: Daniel Taylor12 Dec
Our local paper, the Chico Enterprise Record and its attempt at a web presence is an unending source of lulz, as exemplified by today’s big headline “POLICE HUNT FOR VICTIM IN THURSDAY NIGHT RAPE ATTEMPT.” Man, talk about adding insult to injury! Maybe they’ll make an example out of her for daring to get almost raped. Not in this town! Maybe they just want to question her about how it actually went down before they bother hunting for the suspect, because, you know, maybe it was all just a misunderstanding…
Horoscope: Kozmic Kev’s Kozmic Debris, 7/7 - 7/13
Author: spencer9 Jul
[The following horoscope, written by Synthesis Weekly's longest running columnist Kozmic Kev, is for entertainment purposes only. Or you can plan your life to it accordingly. Either way.]
July 7th – 13th
Aries
While moving full speed ahead, you may need to put on the breaks. Slow down and be careful out there. Most activities continue to be centered on home and family. Venus moves into your fifth house on Saturday. You feel more creative and sweeter. Pay attention to health concerns, artistic projects and female children.
Taurus
You get to know yourself better this week. The love of the community turns into love for home and family. Mercury’s entrance into your third house makes you poetic and easy to talk to. Your mind turns toward travel and relationships. You are honoring yourself and your soul purpose. Friday and Saturday are best for romance.
Gemini
Mercury moves out of Gemini into Cancer on the 10th at 1:17 PM. Until then, combine the rebirthing of yourself with the values you are developing. Experiment with cooking. You might want to go to the library to check out a book, movie or game. Tuesday through Thursday are your best days for love, play and learning.
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