It’s been a crazy past three months, huh? Without new TV programs to keep us occupied, Americans actually had to go out and do things, keep up with current events. A lot of us even voted.

I don’t know about you, but I was getting pretty nervous, what with all this activity and all. I even went walking this past Saturday. Not because I needed to get to work or whatever, but because I thought, “Boy, it sure is nice out. I should get my fat ass to the park.” Thankfully, the writers are back.

Even though the ink’s not dry on the new agreement forged between the WGA and the studios, CBS is already rushing to get new shows back on the air. Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory will all return March 14th. A whole bunch of other shows I don’t watch such as Numb3rs, The Ghost Whisperer and the entire gaggle of CSI programs will follow suit in the following weeks.

No offense to Meg Oliver, but I don’t watch anything on CBS (except Up to the Minute, of course), so I could really give a fuck about this announcement. My only hope is that other networks will follow suit, and NBC can get Heroes and The Office back ASAP. Thx.

As a writer (or some perversion thereof), I’m still siding with the writers on this one. That being said, I just wish they’d get back to work already. If they stay on the picket lines, eventually I’m going to have to go out and get a life, and I know for a fact that shit is expensive. Heroes had its finale on Monday, The Office has been MIA. And new seasons of Lost and 24 may never see the light of day. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Jenna Fischer, Pam from The Office posted a blog on her MySpace page (we’re buddies, you know…I’m a stalker) that the writers and the studios were going to attempt overcome their differences and sit down at the negotiating table one more time. As it turns out, those talks have gone sour.

According to this article from the New York Times:

Those discussions continued through Friday with no discernible breakthrough in a strike that has passed the month-old point. By late afternoon, the sides had not closed a wide gap between competing proposals covering compensation for advertiser-supported programming shown free on the Internet. They also appeared to be at a standoff over guild demands for jursidiction over writers for reality television shows, which currently are largely outside of the guilds’ reach. Meanwhile, other key issues — including compensation for movies and shows sold via the Internet — had yet to be confronted.

In a letter to members, the presidents of the two writers guilds on Friday morning lashed out at the producers for holding back proposals and challenged them to negotiate with them “day and night, through the Christmas and New Years holidays” to end the strike. Producers representatives shot back with a broadside against the writers’ statement and tactics, accusing them of spending more time during the negotiating sessions talking among themselves than to their bargaining counterparts. The barbed exchanges did little to tamp down expectations of an imminent breakdown in the talks.

It’s over a month now, and things seem to be getting pretty nasty (the major point of contention being that writers are looking for greater residuals from DVD sales and reruns shown on the Internet, the latter of which they don’t get a penny from).

The AMPTP, which represents the networks and studios, however, was quick to shoot back [source]:

However, the AMPTP countered in its own statement that it did present a proposal, which it calls the “New Economic Partnership,” which would boost the average working writer’s salary to more than $230,000 a year.

The AMPTP also disputed the WGA’s claim that it has been at the bargaining table every day, ready to negotiate. “The WGA’s organizers sought a four-day break, and when they returned sessions that were supposed to begin at 10:00 am often did not start until after lunchtime. When they are at the negotiating site, WGA organizers typically spend as much time speaking among themselves as they do at the negotiating table.”

Further, said the AMPTP, writers refused “repeated requests” by producers to begin contract talks in the spring of 2007. “Had negotiations begun when the producers wanted them to start, perhaps the industry would not now be in the midst of this strike.”

All this means is I’m never going to find out how Jack and Kate got off the island and why they’re so sore at each other in the future.

Let me preclude this blog by stating explicitly that I watch way too much television. I know that it is detrimental to my general level of intelligence, but I just can’t help myself. So, the very much arbitrary (hence the title) notion struck me to give some suggestions as to what you may want to catch this season on the good ol’ boob tube. My proposed daily itinerary is as follows:

Mon: 11:30PM the Boondocks: This show dabbles in Manga-style animation and has the likes of John Witherspoon, Samuel L. Jackson, Charlie Murphy, and Regina King lending their comedic and vocal talent. It’s like “Word, ya know whatt’a mean?”

Tues: This day can be completely free from television. Go out and kick around some leaves or something.

Wed: South Park at 10:00PM. I feel secure that you all know what South Park is about. What kind of person couldn’t find at least some enjoyment in the “Imagination Land” trilogy?

Thurs: Thursday is a fine day for vegging in front of the blessed television screen. The Office airs at 9Pm on NBC, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia airs at 10PM on FX. Watch them both, and, trust me, you will be entertained.

Fri: What? You would actually watch T.V. on a Friday night? What a loser you are. Just kidding, having a life is overrated. I guess you could watch Deal or No Deal on NBC, if you have a thing for Bob Saget, or are for some other reason so inclined.

Sat: What else but NBC’s Saturday Night Live? See, it’s completely legit to stay in Saturday night, it is in no way comparable to staying in on a Friday.

Sun: At least a fraction of your “day of rest” could befittingly include watching a cartoon or two (or three, or four, or five). Although there is often some variation regarding show times, (and interference from those pesky athletic events), you can usually catch a chain of animated hilarity starting at 7:30PM on FOX that includes episodes of King of the Hill, the Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. The entertainment doesn’t cease there. Metalocalypse, Robot Chicken, and Lucy the Daughter of the Devil also air on Sunday night, starting at 11:30PM.

*It should also be noted that Late Night with Conan O’Brien is an excellent show that can be caught Monday through Friday on NBC at 12:37PM.

So, there you have it. Mind-numbingly awesome entertainment just waiting for you to take advantage. Life is good, no?