[The following horoscope was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Kozmic Kev. He can be reached at kozmickev@sunset.net.]

Aries: Make it good and make it work. The moon aligns with Mars in your seventh house. Do your part to help make peace. The planets and stars support this decision. Work towards having better relationships. Whether it involves work or romance, do what it takes. Moneymaking opportunities may present themselves.
Taurus: Love and service come together for you this week. Get beyond guilt and move into action. When it comes to kids, know that it’s work. Drop any expectations that go beyond love and truth. As far as creative projects are concerned, go with things that require commitment and take a long time. Pace yourself.
Gemini: In many ways you are benefiting from your father’s side of the family during this cycle. Think in terms of what makes a home. You’ve got the creative juice to move mountains. Now is a time when children or band mates are likely to call on you. The real question is what is in your heart, and how do you respond to it?
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“WARNING: Liquid contents may cause frostbite on contact with skin.”

Well, so much for our compressed air wars. Apparently I have skin like sheets of iron because that shit has hardly bothered me. But our receptionist / sweets enthusiast Dani was not so fortunate. Sorry Dani, I hope the frostbite rash clears up soon, and I am glad we are still friends.

Synthesis: Where idiocy roams free and Social Darwinism can take a fucking hike.