Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz, who in addition to being one third of the 3 sure-fire Hall of Fame inductees to come up with the team during the 80’s (Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux being the other two) also rocks one the longest running beards in all of sports, and he may be done pitching forever as of today.

The 21 year vet who has spent his entire career with the same team said his shoulder has been troubling him all year and he just can’t take it anymore. He is going to have immediate surgery by Dr. James Andrews, who has operated on pretty much every pitcher at one point in their career. After watching the news conference footage on ESPN I got the feeling that he thinks he isn’t going to pitch anymore, and that he would be happy just to be able to lift his arm above his head.

I’m not a Braves fan or anything, but they have been doing it about as right as a team can do it for the past 20 years or so. They have held on to all of their stars for a as long as they could without ever crippling the franchise by over paying to keep them, they made the playoffs for over a decade straight, and in the age where managers get fired like Taco Bell employees, they have held on to Bobby Cox since I didn’t even know how babies were made, so I root for him to pull of a miracle.
I doubt Smoltz can come back from major shoulder surgery at 41 years old. But the dude has more scars on his pitching arm than a cutter goth chick and he’s been able to come back from all of his previous surgeries successfully, so who knows?
I don’t know why he would want to come back though. The guy is so rich he has to move money out of the way just to take a shit. But even the greatest athletes have a tough time knowing when to hang it up. *cough! Michael Jordan! *cough!

Senator Edward Kennedy had a successful operation at Duke University Medical Center today for a brain tumor. Kennedy, 76, was diagnosed with having a malignant glioma in the left side of his brain after suffering a seizure two weeks ago. After recovering from surgery, Kennedy will undergo radiation and chemotherapy at Massachusetts General Hospital. 

Malignant glioma is the most common form of brain cancer. This type of tumor is very difficult to remove because it travels quickly and can migrate to other parts of the brain. Kennedy’s surgery was to partially remove the tumor to reduce its size. Prognosis varies but patients typically live between one and four years. Kennedy is aggressively dealing with his tumor and plans to return to the U.S. Senate and continue support for Barack Obama to be elected as the next president.  

I’m a Giants fan, so I naturally hate the Dodgers. And even though the Giants are the current owners of the worst contract in all of sports (see Barry Zito’s $136,000,000 fiasco) the Dodgers don’t have a lot of room to laugh. This off-season they signed Andruw Jones to a 2 year, 36 million dollar contract to patrol center field and to add some power to their impotent offense. It was a risky signing to start with, considering the fact that he only hit .222 last year with 26 home runs (which is tied for his lowest total since he started playing full time) last year and he was healthy. The market was totally dry for him because he had a terrible 07′ and he turned in to kind of a fat ass, and the only reason he signed with the Dodgers in the first place is because they were literally the ONLY team that were willing to offer him a two year deal worth a shit (everybody else was either offering one year for big money, or several years for shit money). So the fact that he is not only having an even worse year this year (he’s batting .165 with TWO home runs and only SEVEN rbi’s in 43 games!!!!! WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!), but he is now on the shelf for 4 to 6 weeks after having knee surgery earlier today makes me laugh until I piss down my own leg.
The Dodgers also signed away the Giants best pitcher, Jason Schmidt, before the 07′ season giving the then 33 year old with a declining fast ball a 3 year, 47 million dollar deal that most people thought was a pretty big risk at the time as well. He almost immediately blew out his shoulder (which was no surprise to any giants fan that watched him pitch through the 06′ season) and in two years has pitched in all of 6 games, amassing a 1 - 4 record with a 6.31 era.
The team is currently hovering around .500 with a 26 - 24 record coming in to play today, which makes them a huge disappointment considering their stacked pitching staff, and with Nomar Garciaparra, Andruw Jones, and Jason Schmidt all on the disabled list for quite some time the future doesn’t look too bright.
As a Giants fan I couldn’t be happier.

I promise that should the owner give me the adorable 6 legged kitten, I will love it, and pet it, and feed it, and call him George….

The adorable lil bugger, known as “Hex,” (which is a bad-ass name for a cat, six-legged or otherwise) was born as a conjoined twin that fused together in mamma cat’s womb. Now the owner is trying to raise money so that Hex can have surgery to remove the extra legs.

From CBS affiliate:

The vets say Hex will need surgery to remove the duplicate lower legs and intestinal surgery to remove the part of the colon which is duplicated.

The surgery needed to remove Hex’s duplicate hind legs will cost anywhere from $24-hundred to $3-thousand. Hex’s family say that amount is going to be difficult for them to manage.

WHAT?! This is fucking lame on so many levels!

First off,who would wanna ruin a perfectly good six-legged cat? In some Hindu villages, that shit would go over like it was heaven-sent…not to mix religious metaphors, but you know what I mean. Maybe the world needs a six-legged cat. I know I do. I will gladly take the kitten and raise it as my own to save its extra two legs.

Furthermore, who thinks it’s a good idea to pay for surgery for a cat? When human beings in dire need of medical care can’t even afford it? Spend $3,000 on a cat? What kind of misanthrope would do that?

CATS MAKE THOUSANDS OF NEW CATS EVERY DAY. Many of them end up in animal shelters, or as strays. There are plenty more. Here’s an idea: get another one. And leave poor Hex alone.

I mean, perhaps Hex having 6 legs is life threatening, but I say let fate decide if Hex was meant for this world.