I haven’t really fucked with metal since my career as a late-90s high school stoner jock came to an abrupt end. But ever since Synthesis Marketing Idiot and overall coward Cayle Hunter moved into the desk next to mine I’ve been getting a crash course in the latest badass deathcore and Scandanavian metal bands. Shit like White Chapel, Salt the Wound and probably my favorite yet, Bloodbath. Something of a Swedish metal all star band, Bloodbath wouldn’t even know where to find a fuck, let alone how to give one. The music thing more pissed than the music is the artwork, which features the obligatory illegible lightning bolt font band name and a wolf in a priest outfit bathing an infant in blood. In the liner notes, the band members are listed as “Those Who Unbless the Purity.” Thank god for Sweden, where the government is smart enough to subsidize death metal bands. Maybe that’s why all their bands rule and most of ours are fucking shitdicks. Fuckers.