How much more American can you get? This is the Mall of America, combined with American’s love for both undermining Federal laws and mooching resources from others.

I can’t believe someone got away with this, but the mall is known for being unnecessarily huge with it’s 4 floors, 2.5 million sq. ft. and 500+ shops (half of which are Starbucks). There’s limited facts about the case, but here’s the overview:

MIAMI – The Drug Enforcement Administration discovered something unexpected in the Mall of the Americas.

DEA agents found a hydroponics lab with more than 200 marijuana plants, standing 3 to 6 feet tall in the air and worth millions of dollars, in a storage area on the second floor of the mall.

Authorities said the electricity that powered the lab was diverted from the mall’s main power supply.

No arrests have been made. Authorities said officials with the Mall of the Americas are cooperating with the investigation.

I haven’t really fucked with metal since my career as a late-90s high school stoner jock came to an abrupt end. But ever since Synthesis Marketing Idiot and overall coward Cayle Hunter moved into the desk next to mine I’ve been getting a crash course in the latest badass deathcore and Scandanavian metal bands. Shit like White Chapel, Salt the Wound and probably my favorite yet, Bloodbath. Something of a Swedish metal all star band, Bloodbath wouldn’t even know where to find a fuck, let alone how to give one. The music thing more pissed than the music is the artwork, which features the obligatory illegible lightning bolt font band name and a wolf in a priest outfit bathing an infant in blood. In the liner notes, the band members are listed as “Those Who Unbless the Purity.” Thank god for Sweden, where the government is smart enough to subsidize death metal bands. Maybe that’s why all their bands rule and most of ours are fucking shitdicks. Fuckers.

Fans of grim, stoney music that drones on for days rejoice: Neurot Recordings has announced its 2008 release schedule. In addition to bands making their debut for the label (such as Guapo, whose latest album Elixirs is out now), there are also some familiar faces. Neurosis’s Steve Von Till will have a new solo album, A Grave Is a Grim Horse, out on May 19th, as will band mate Scott Kelly (pictured), whose sophomore solo effort The Wake is slated for a May 5th release.

Honestly, a lot of the Neurosis stuff puts me to sleep, but if the MP3s of Kelly and Von Till’s previous works are any indication, I’m really looking forward to their new solo albums. Really grainy, stripped down sort of singer/songwriter stuff. Check out Kelly’s “Flower” from Spirit Bound Flesh: MP3 or Von Till’s “This River” from Should I Fall to the Field: MP3

Full schedule (through June, anyway) after the jump as well as remaining West Coast tour dates for Neurot’s Red Sparrowes, who are on the road with the face-melting Russian Circles. (more…)

Middian, the towering monolith of stoner rock riffage formed by former YOB frontman Mike Scheidt, is apparently calling it a day, after being sued by some a Milwaukee metal band of the same name, getting dropped from their label as a result, and being forced to stop selling copies of their debut CD, Age Eternal:

So, we had a hell of a time finding a name. When Middian was suggested, we did a search and found nothing out there. So we went ahead and called ourselves Middian.

However, in October, we received a cease and desist demand from Midian of Milwaukee, LLC. After checking our options, we have found ourselves with no choice but to comply with the demand. So, Middian no longer exists.

We have also been dropped from the Metal Blade roster as a result of this litigation, being unable to sell our album Age Eternal ever again as well. The three of us are still going to be playing music together. It just isn`t going to be Middian anymore. We do not know what it is going to be called at this point. But we are still really into playing music with each other. Lots of folks were really good to us during the course of our existence and we really appreciate it. Please keep an eye out for us. Hopefully, you`ll be hearing from us very soon.

We are too overwhelmed with the situation to respond to e-mails regarding this, so don’t take offense if we don’t reply. Trust that we are grateful for people’s love and support and ours is with you.

DOOM
Mike, Will, and Scott

If you want to say hi to the OTHER Middian (who are actually just Midian with “d”) check out their Myspace here.

UPDATE: Middian has decided to not give up without a fight. From the band’s web site:

“Middian may not be dead after all……..

As many of you know, Middian received a cease and desist demand in October from Midian of Milwaukee LLC. This demand required Middian to stop using our name completely, stop selling our album, and further demanded that all of our recorded cds and albums be destroyed. Middian was served a cease and desist by a band that has never played outside of Wisconsin, hasn’t put out a single record, or had a steady line up in the last 7 years. They hadn’t even updated their website since year 2000, as of a few weeks ago. We played Milwaukee in May, and no one there even mentioned a local band Midian of one “d”. Nor did one of their “fans” come to the show.

Prior to this demand, we had never heard of them. Upon further research into the group, we discovered they had not used their name or trademark in years or even played outside of Wisconsin, ever. Our initial response was that our bands could peacefully co-exist. Especially since we learned that our usage combined with their non-usage entitled us to the name, rendering their trademark useless. But we felt it would be wasting everyones time and money to send the issue to litigation. Besides, before the name Middian was chosen, a careful online search was done, proving that no other active unit had the same spelling.

Instead of responding or agreeing to our offer of co-existence, they filed a federal suit against the three of us individually, our label (Metal Blade, who dropped us because of the suit), our booking agent Nanotear Booking, and an online merchandiser we had never even heard of until we saw the complaint.

We sent them word that we would give the name up and even agreed to some other demands that seemed unreasonable, simply because we’re not in a financial position to fight it.

They refused to accept our settlement, demanding we pay them tens of thousands of dollars. By right of actual usage worlwide, the name Middian is ours. Regardless of that we have no choice but to FIGHT and defend ourselves in court. We intend to strip them of their trademark and deny them their unfair demands of money and of our music.

We’re humbly asking for YOUR help. Spread the word far and wide, to wherever you can. If you can afford it, please donate some money to our defense fund. We’re going to have A LOT of legal fees and we’re simply not in a position to pay for it by ourselves. You can donate funds at www.middian.org in the news section. You will find a link there under the “Middian Defense Fund” heading.

We would like to thank everyone that has sent us messages. The underground metal community’s love has simply been overwhelming.

With your help and support, Middian will stand triumphant against this truly evil attack on our persons and families.

Mike, Scott, Will, and Nanotear Booking.
MIDDIAN”

In what I believe is a government led conspiricy to cripple college-aged stoners, 5 million frozen pizzas and pizza rolls are being recalled after 21 cases were found infested with E. Coli.

The recalled popular frozen pizza brands have been tied to 21 reported cases of E.coli 0157:H7 illness in ten states, occurred between July 20 and October 10, said the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS). Nine of Twenty-one people became ill after eating Totino’s or Jeno’s pepperoni pizzas, which are reportedly the country’s best selling economy frozen pizza brands.

Eight of the twenty-one people have gotten sick in Tennessee. Virginia, Kentucky, Missouri, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin and South Dakota states also reported the cases of illness.

General Mills said it has issued the recall as a precaution. “We took action on that basis as a precaution, because of the possibility that a link might exist,” said General Mills spokesman Tom Forsythe. “However, to date we have found no E.coli in our plant, and we have found no E. coli in our products.”

While this is devistating to Totino’s, expect Hot Pocket’s sales to skyrocket, peticularly after Sunday’s airing of Adult Swim.