My friends and I like to drink. We like to drink because we like to get drunk. We don’t like to get so drunk we wake up in a pool of our own piss and vomit (which has been known to happen at times) but we like to see how close we can get to that point while still having a good time. JUDGE ME!!!

Luckily for us we live in a small college town (Chico CA! What!) and booze is cheap as fuck. Wednesday nights, while dudes in L.A. are standing in line, obeying the STUPID fucking dress code, and paying a 20 or 30 dollar cover just for the privilege of paying 16 bucks for a shot and beer, we here in Chico enjoy what is called “Buck Night”. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, want a beer? One dollar. Want a whiskey coke? One dollar. Shit, last night I paid for a drink with 4 quarters I found on the counter before we left the house! (I know it sounds pathetic, but I’m broke so fuck off.)

It was on one of these buck nights that we discovered the best way to start off your night of boozing EVAR! It’s called the Combo Combo, in honor of our local shitty 24 hour diner, Jacks. A Combo Combo at Jacks is basically for the people that want one of everything on the menu. At Denny’s it looks something like this, but at Jacks it has way more shit:

The Combo Combo as it relates to booze is: One shot of Jack Daniels whiskey. One Coke chaser. One Jager Blaster (a full Red Bull with a double shot of Jager served in a pint glass and downed like a shot). One ice cold Bud Light bottled beer.

When you order 2 Combo Combo’s it looks something like this:

It’s the perfect way to start off your night because after taking it you can just sip on beers all night to maintain your buzz, and the Red Bull gives you that extra shot of energy you need to build up the courage to go get rejected by a bunch of girls that are way out of your league.

Get on the Combo Combo train or you are blowing it hard!!! Just remember, don’t go overboard with them or you will end up like this dousche:

Loss.

On the heels of last month’s incident in Minnesota, when a father shot and killed his 8-year-old son thinking he was a turkey, a Kentucky man shot and killed his 14-year-old son on Sunday….wait for it…thinking he was a turkey:

The father and son were turkey hunting. Police say Steven Schmidthuber got separated from his father, David, 30 minutes after they went into the woods. Police say the father thought his son was a turkey, so he fired at him.

I guess the moral of the story is, next time you’re thinking about taking your boy turkey hunting, maybe you ought to try fishing, or maybe bowling. How about a nice game of Big Buck Hunter?