When it comes to fucking, the modern mindset seems to be that anything less than an all-night sesh is a pathetic failure. However, a recent survey of sex therapists found that the optimal duration for intercourse is actually a relatively brief 3 to 13 minutes:

The findings, to be published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, strike at the notion that endurance is the key to a great sex life. Researcher Eric Corty said he hoped to ease the minds of those who believe that “more of something good is better, and if you really want to satisfy your partner, you should last forever.”

“There are so many myths in our culture of what other people are doing sexually,” Brandon said. “Most people’s sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are.”

I mean, I obviously can go for hours, but you know, regular dudes are stoked.

“Only two things come from Texas, son, and that’s steers and queers. And I don’t see no horns on you boy.”

Texas is a land of machismo. Oil wells. Cattle. Cacti peppering the dusty plains, where men chew gravel and spit out asphalt. Or maybe my mom just watched too much Dallas when I was a kid. I don’t know, but I certainly have an impression that it’s a manly state.

Still, the place is not without its more leftist lifestyles, including a healthy contingent of homosexuals. When I noticed the Gay Flag on a bar a block away from the hotel I thought, “well bless their hearts. The roughnecks haven’t driven the gays from the streets of Austin.” And yes I know Austin is the most liberal places in the state, but still.

The thing I noticed most about this gay bar was that it was full of regular old people watching rock ‘n’ roll bands. And that’s what Austin gay bars have in common with the countless UT frat bars that line the 6th street corridor: during SXSW their clientele is pretty much the same: industry people and hardcore music fans getting fucked up and watching hundreds of bands. Together. As One. Ommmmmmm…..
Rock Music: the great equalizer.

(UPDATE: I apologize for the brief all-caps diatribes about broken cameras and hating internets, which I have since deleted. I was drunk and shit was not uploading and Brit and Matt were telling me to hurry. It was an intense and frustrated moment. No offense intended.)

Allena Ward:

Five 14 or 15 year old male students in South Carolina must have sore hands from giving high-fives. Sure, Ms. Ward is no 10, but when you’re a 14 or 15 year old guy and you get to touch boobie — or anything else — it’s cause for celebration.

I just don’t get this kind of sentiment:

None of the victims were there to face their former teacher in person. Attornies say their lives have been forever scarred. “Their mindset has been damaged basically for the rest of their lives, and in fact, it is a life sentence on these kids.”

Wait, what? I remember back in 10th grade wanting nothing more in life than to get naked with my hot, 22-year-old government teacher. Ms. Whatsherface (who says teachers don’t leave lasting impressions?) was certainly way hotter than Allena Ward (and about a million times hotter than Karen Robbins, who is the 3rd Laurens County, SC teacher to be charged with kiddie touching in the last year), but at 16 or so, I wouldn’t have turned that down, let alone turn her in. But then again, neither Allena nor Karen were finger-pointed; they were emo enough to write letters or diaries, and keep them in their desks. That’s idiocy.

Source.
Source Source

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UPDATE here.

Local indie-rock sex icons Bear Hunter are heading out tomorrow to spread the love up the west coast. If you live in OR, WA or Northern California, check them out. Rumor has it they bought a 30 foot fire breathing robot just for this tour’s stage show, but my sources are less than credible.

Sep 14 2007 9:00P
Diablo’s Downtown Lounge with Three Guys That Paint and Redox Eugene, Oregon

Sep 15 2007 9:00P
Boundary Bay Brewery with The Loyal Sinners Bellingham, Washington

Sep 16 2007 9:00P
The Comet with Gozer (members of Vindaloo), Knives in the Attic and Preons Seattle, Washington

Sep 18 2007 8:00P
15th Street Pub with Dos Sorella Vancouver, Washington

Sep 19 2007 8:00P
Grapedrink Portland, Oregon

Sep 20 2007 9:00P
Red White & Brew with Belda Beast & History (Invades) Redding, California

Sep 21 2007 8:00P
The Stork Club with Electric Jellyfish, USA 4 LSD, Kreamy Lectric Santa & Saything Oakland, California

Sep 22 2007 9:00P
Old Ironsides with Trainwreck Revival Sacramento, California

You can pick up the new disk, ‘You Will Be Heard’, right here.

So, I walked out of my house a few days ago to talk to my brother on my phone and as I was talking to him, I looked down at a planter on my staircase–and saw THIS:

Find out the rest of the story after the jump!

(more…)

I sit on MySpace for a big chunk o’ my day. I see EVERYTHING, people. Scandals galore. Sifting through comments is my favorite way to see who’s salting who, so if you’re going to post one, assume it will be read by me and thus everyone. But probably the most annoying thing is random messages. People from all over this damn country message me things like:

“hi brittany. how’s everything in chico going for you? hopefully perfect!

i just wanted to say hello and see whats going on. i was just checking out your page and you seem like a badass! well your a very pretty girl and seem like you’d make a kick ass friend. i hope to hear back from ya soon!

derrick”

Whatever, dude. With 29,000 registered sex offenders on MySpace, this guy looks like maybe he’s one of them. Yup, ya heard me. 29,000 sex offenders - that’s 4 times the amount in May. So becareful, kids. Do your research - data mine.

UPDATE:

I was chatting with a coworker when she mentioned she got the same message from “Derrick”. This isn’t the first time this has happened so I wasn’t too shocked. What did surprise me though is that Derrick deleted his MySpace account as soon as he got a message letting him know that some bitch blogged about him on synthesismagazine.net. They don’t call me the Queen of MySpace for no reason.