Forget Nailin’ Paylin, it’s supposably all about HEADOSTATE now. $21.95 worth every penny!?

“Love your candidate, let him love you back!”

Next up:

“He’s been screwing you for 8 years so you might as well enjoy it!”

In the episode of Family Guy where Peter gets Death (Adam Corolla) a date with an awkward pet shop owner, Death and the girl go out to a coffee shop. The conversation goes quiet, and Death, trying to perk up the unbearable scilence, asks, “So, have you been on the internet? They’ve got some crazy things on that internet”.  Death was undoubtedly talking about people that have sex with cars.

Mechaphiles, or people with a fetish towards machinery, are a quiet group of people in the sex world, but they do exist. Forums like Sex With Cars allow people with like-minded interests about fornicating with cars, boats, etc. to come together, although most of these sites seem to be pretty dead in terms of activity.

After a tad of research and some really creepy mental pictures, I’ve come to realize there are actually people out there into weirder shit than me (hell, some people would claim that getting peed on with an apple in my mouth, tied up like a roasted pig while Disney’s Bambi is playing in the background isn’t that weird in the first place). Anyways, after the jump is the complete guide to having sex with cars… I don’t know if it’s appropriate for minors, but I’m pretty confused about the whole topic in general.

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So obviously some bigwigs over at Lifestyles (condom maker) have been searching the net recently.  With the influx of all these TOWTALLY HAWTT!!1 Miley Cyrus semi-nudes, who else do you think would go to for possibly the sleaziest marketing campaign EVAR.

Lil’ miss ‘Hannah Montana’ has reportedly been offered a cool $1 million by LifeStyles Condoms to be their rep aimed at getting teens to use their product, the Daily News reports. Ironically, the report comes on the same day that more saucy private photos of Cyrus hit the Web, this time showing the teen queen kissing and cuddling with an unidentified male.

“Pop Culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex,” LifeStyles marketing VP Carol Carrozza said. Carrozza said that recent reports showing 1 in 4 teen girls have a sexually transmitted disease paired with the teen pregnancy rate makes them believe “Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set - and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.”

Aside from the fat paycheck, the condom producer is also willing to give Cyrus a lifetime supply of their prophylactics … for “whenever she decides the time is right.”

Well, judging her by the recent pics that came out today, I think ‘the time is right’.

A 33-year-old man from Michigan wore his “World’s Greatest Dad” shirt to meet what he thought was a 14-year-old girl for sex = major FAIL

Last week Andy Dick got kicked out of the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas because his pit bull bit a guest and he was a sloppy mess. Now he has some bigger problems on his plate: sex and drug charges. He was arrested in Riverside County for investigation of sexual battery and his drug use.

Dick, 42, was arrested around 2 a.m. this morning in a parking lot outside Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. He is being held on $5,000 bail. He probably isn’t going to get off too easy seeing as he has been arrested for marijuana and cocaine possession, drove his car into a telephone pole in Hollywood and was cited for urinating public. Time for another stint in rehab.

Over lunch today, a handful of us office cohorts (both male and female) found ourselves engaged in the topic of strap-on dildos. Our question was such:

If a bisexual woman is consistently satisfied by a female wearing a large (say 12 inch), ridged strap-on, is it reasonable to believe that they will be able to take the same satisfaction in sex with a man again? Anyone other than John Holmes or Lexington Steele, of course.

Opinions?