I hoped that since the election was over that I wouldn’t have to listen to that twatwaffle Palin spew her verbal diarrhea anymore. I was incorrect - at least this is about the funniest most surreal thing I’ve experienced all week. Good job, Sarah.

(AP) Gov. Sarah Palin has granted the traditional Thanksgiving pardon to one lucky turkey, but the video that shocked some viewers captured what was happening in the background.

As she answered questions Thursday at Triple D Farm & Hatchery outside Wasilla cameras from the Anchorage Daily News and others showed the bloody work of an employee slaughtering birds behind the former Republican vice presidential candidate.

In the first of what may or may not be a continuing series (depending on how motivated I get and how long I can stomach beating the dead horse that is the 2008 election) I bring you one of the more salient, yet so far underreported lessons learned from this election: that people in Alaskan are either totally in denial or completely batshit insane.

First, we got to meet their Governor, who was supposedly “the most popular governor in America” according to her constituents. However, the rest of the country didn’t take long to figure out that she a filthy liar, a political ignoramus, and an embarrassment to both her party and her running mate John McCain. Wow, great governor you got there, Alaska! You can have her back thanks!

Then of course, we learned that their senior Senator Ted Stevens was guilty of felony corruption (actually seven felonies in all). Sucks for him that his political career is over right? WRONG! Alaskans apparently don’t care about their politicians being bought and sold by energy interests because they re-elected Stevens as their Senator, as well as his crony Don Young. I guess being corrupt isn’t nearly as bad as being A SOCIALIST!

After all, Alaska is so hardline Republican that they vote the party line no matter what! They must then, of course live by their small government creed, fighting the good fight against the socialist policies of their liberal adversaries in the lower 48…oh wait, that’s right, every Alaskan, despite paying no state income tax or sales tax, receives thousands of dollars from the government for just, being Alaskan. This money comes from, you guessed it, taxes on business, specifically the oil business, taxes that Commie Killer Sarah Palin raised last year, saying “collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.” BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO WORKED SO HARD FOR IT!!111111

tl;dr Alaskans enjoy their $3600 government welfare check while voting overwhelmingly against anyone who would dare try to give ordinary Americans even a taste of such goverment-funded economic relief. Wow, thanks guys!

Here’s a few really smart people from Ohio and their take on Barack Obama.

No words needed!

John McCain and running mate Sarah Palin love to talk about their fondness for Average Joes - Joe the Plumber, Joe Sixpack, et al - but when it comes to not-so-average Joes, in this case McCain’s brother Joe McCain, they’re probably not so positive at this point. There was first Joe McCain’s off the cuff comment about Northern Virginia being “communist country,” which probably won’t help his brother’s seemingly losing effort in to carry perennially red-state Virginia. Even more damning however, was his recent call to 911 to complain about “traffic.” Yes, he actually called 911 to complain about fucking TRAFFIC. Here is the transcript of the call:

Operator: 911 state your emergency

Caller: It’s not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic’s coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

Caller: “(Expletive) you.” (caller hangs up)

The 911 operator called back the number, to inform McCain that it is in fact a crime to call 911 for non-emergencies and got McCain’s voicemal. Presumably because he was on the line with Alexandria police to complain to them about the traffic as well, because you know, here in America rich people don’t have to put up with that shit!

Unsurprisingly, once word of these calls got out to the commie pinko liberal press, shit hit the fan and Joe McCain officially withdrew from his brother’s campaign, saying:

“I feel terrible about having hurt the campaign over this incident,” he said. “I won’t be doing any more campaigning because of that.”

McCain said he’s going to write a note of apology to the 911 operator and to the Alexandria police.

Joe McCain said he hasn’t spoken to his brother about the incident.

“He’s not going to be happy about it, I’m sure,” he said

Wow, you think? I know, I know, rich people aren’t supposed to have to wait for traffic, but hey, that’s why you’re supposed to just take the family jet, dumbass.

A new website called Tax Cut Facts, a branch of Barack Obama.com, has introduced a new tax cut program to calculate which canidate will really be saving you money. Reports show that under President Senator Obama, 95% of Americans will be saving money. In addition, Obama will be applying credited money to help students and families of students pay for college.

“Barack Obama and Joe Biden will cut taxes for 95% of working families, and provide at least three times as much tax relief for middle class families as John McCain and Sarah Palin. The Obama/Biden plan provides $1,000 of tax relief for workers and new tax benefits to help families pay for college, childcare and save for retirement.”

Taxcutfacts.org also quotes various types of news sources explaining what the media has been saying about the Obama Tax Cut plan.

“Obama is not proposing to raise taxes for most Americans. To the contrary, he would triple the earned-income tax credit for low-wage earners, increasing work incentives at the bottom. He would cut taxes on people in the middle — indeed, he would do so more aggressively than McCain would.” [Sebatian Mallaby, Washington Post, 9/8/08]

Rea Hederman Jr., a senior policy analyst at the conservative Heritage Foundation “said the middle class would likely pay less under Mr. Obama’s plan than Mr. McCain’s.” [NY Sun, 8/15/08]

Obama’s tax calculator is “a very simple gadget that’s the most useful thing I’ve seen on any political website in a while.” [Forbes.com, 10/08]

After noodling with it, it’s pretty clear that unless you’re banking over $250,000 a year, you’re going to be getting either a break or no effect on your current taxes. I can understand where high-income people are coming from, with not being able to afford gold toilets and all, but realize that if you are making over $250k a year after this horrid recession you’re really sitting nicely. We have people out there who are straining not to lose their homes, and high-income earners are bitching about their wallets hurting. Fucking pathetic.

Check the site out, and take it with a grain of salt (considering it’s source).