With their recent pwning of Georgia, the Russian bear has awakened from a two-decade hibernation to rattle its sabers at the United States, threating to go “beyond diplomacy” in response to the recent US-Polish agreement on building a strategic missile shield in Poland’s, just 115 miles from Russian soil:

Russia says its response to the further development of a U.S. missile shield in Poland will go beyond diplomacy.Russia’s Foreign Ministry issued a statement saying the U.S. missile shield plans are clearly aimed at weakening Russia.

The U.S. says the missile defense system is aimed at protecting the U.S. and Europe from future attacks from states like Iran.

So as it stands today, the teams for World War III are looking like the United States, Israel and Europe, or at least the parts of it that are stupid enough to not be neutral, vs Russia, Iran, Venezuela, North Korea, Cuba and most of the rest of the middle east. WHO’S GONNA WIN? Maybe China will come in at the last minute and blow up fucking EVERYBODY and just take over the world like they did the Olympics. STAY TUNED!

Man, you’d think people would be freaking out a little more that Russia’s waging a full out war on Georgia, but I guess it just goes to show you that George W. Bush really does not care about black people. Plus there’s no oil there anyway, amirite? I just wish I knew more about who these South Ossetian folks are supposed to be? Is that like some Creole type shit, or some new offshoot of born-again Christianity? I guess I should really keep up on shit more but whatever, its all fake anyway.

If you thought the burgeoning emocide in Mexico was bad, recent legislation in Russia that lumps emos in with skinheads is shutting down Russian emo and goth web sites and all around making life for Russian emos even that much more miserable:

First came the Chechens, then ethnic Georgians, and then maverick journalists. But now Russia’s cracking down on a different social group, a demographic they see threatening the very future of their country. These rebels have pierced lips, ridiculous haircuts and too much eyeshadow. They’re barbarians in bowler hats, leather jackets and torn-up tights. Yes, emo has come to Russia – and its leaders want no part of it.

Last month the State Duma held a hearing on “Government Strategy in the Sphere of Spiritual and Ethical Education”, a piece of legislation aimed at curbing “dangerous teen trends”. There, without a clue in the world, social conservatives lumped “emos” together with skinheads, pushing for heavy regulation of emo websites and the banning of emo and goth fashion from schools and government buildings.

Oh well, its not like they probably understand what all the hollering’s about in all those MCR songs anyway.

Damnit. That’s what you get for not fully fact checking and especially paying close attention to dates. The lunar eclipse and satellite shoot-down madness already happened. No nuclear holocaust (awwwwww.). This slip-up makes this post even funnier and probably more idiotic, and certainly puts distress on my non-existent blogging reputation. I guess I could change my alias, since everyone tries to pronounce it, but can’t (hahaha suckers.). Or I could just take it down in an attempt not to look like a jackass, but Daniel Taylor already knows, so I am basically screwed. (rawr)

Sorry, no Lunar Eclipse or Nuclear War. Didn’t mean to get your hopes up, but it’s not like you’re going to have to wait much longer.

Sometime in 2005 I made a journey to New Zealand. Most of the details of this trip are very irrelevant to the purpose of this post, so don’t mind as I skip to a certain story.

Me and a friend I was traveling with were hitch-hiking from Nelson Creek NZ (after visiting the Nelson Creek Skateboard factory) to a remote town also on the South Island of New Zealand. It was raining, damn hard and freaking cold. A kind, yet eccentric man pulled over and offered us a well-recieved ride. His car was packed, he could barely fit our bags, let alone us and our damp fabrics. He strongly expressed that he would normally never pick up a hitch-hiker, but that this time he had some sort of hunch that we were American.

It didn’t take me long to label him as your run-of-the-mill conspiracy nut, filled with facts, fears and rationalizations about the government. But as time went on intellect and genius began to peak through his fact-less arguments. He talked heavily about the health care scam, false prophecies, the world bankers’ scam and New Orleans (which had happened 5-6 weeks earlier). He explained how humans were to be sorted into categories once martial law took place; green for the fully impressioned (zombies), yellow for those who needed further conditioning (the sell-outs) and red, those who would be a ‘danger’ to society and would need to be terminated (the revolutionaries). After that bit I was sure the guy was crazy, and nothing really sunk in until he made a certain direct prophecy, one that stuck with me all these years.

He predicted that the United States was going to ‘kill’ a spy satellite, and this event would somehow cause a conflict with Russia, thus starting a major conflict, such as a nuclear war. He also said this would happen Early 2008.

(more…)

Chris De Burgh,world-renown for his heartfelt, milquetoast ballads including Lady in Red and…all those other hits…may be the first western singer to perform in Iran since the 1979 revolution.

Yeah, Iran. You know, Iran.

From the BBC:

Last month, the [Iranian] government announced a campaign against rap music, which it considers obscene.
But De Burgh, known for soft rock ballads like Don’t Pay The Ferryman, seems unlikely to raise the ire of the ministry for culture and Islamic guidance.

According to the report, de Burgh’s lyrics have been translated and turned into a popular book of poetry in Iran, and his cassettes and CDs are still in wide circulation. While western music is pretty much forbotten over there, Chris de Burgh gets a pass because his music is seen as ‘revolutionary.’ For the concert, de Burgh will be playing with the Iranian pop group Arian, purportedly the first band in Iran to have both male and female singers performing together. (Yes, Iran’s really breaking their stride here.) The two camps have recently recorded a song titled “A Melody for Peace,” which according to Arian’s manager Mohsen Rajabpour, was intended “to reflect the peace-seeking spirit of the Iranian people to the world”. This comes hot on the heels of the news that Russia is sending uranium to Iran, on the promise that they “get it back afterwards.”

Okay, so to recap, Iranian seeks peace, Chris De Burgh’s music is revolutionary, oh and Russia just sent uranium to Iran. Have a good Monday.