Yep, that’s right. One day after a black man got nominated by his party to run for president for the first time evar in the U.S. and A. Washington D.C. may now get wiped off the face of the earth by a tornado. Well, maybe not wiped off the face of the earth, but there is a tornado warning in effect until 8pm tonight, and there is sure to be some hecka extreme weather.

Ron Paul and David Duke are probably hanging out drinking a tall can somewhere laughing.

Clicked on the link on Drudge for “Primary Results” and I got this gem courtest of ABC News. Wow. Barack Obama checking in with 0% of the vote, followed closely by Hillary Clinton with 0% of the vote. BREAKING NEWS! Besides, its not like these primaries matter: everyone knows that Ron Paul is gonna be president any way. RON PAUL ‘08…Oh wait…

Today, Texas Congressman Ron Paul introduced the “Medical Marijuana Patient Protection Act”, H.R. 5842. This bill would bar the Federal Government and DEA from intervening in doctor/patient relationships that violate no state law.

As a physician, the Congressman believes that doctors and patients should make health care decisions, not politicians or federal agents. He cites a study by Scientists at the University of California at Davis that says cannabis demonstrates significant relief of neuropathic pain. He also explained the suffering of Mr. Forss, a patient who had spent $18,000 in one year trying to find a medicine that would cure his pain from a ruptured disc in his neck. Can you guess the only thing that worked for him? Hint: it’s green.

“The bottom line is that K.K. Forss should be treated as a free American. Mr. Forss is one of many who would like to use marijuana medicinally because it helps him. Politicians and bureaucrats have no right to interfere”

Congratulations to Wesley Snipes for being a rich ass motherfucker whose too stingy to pay the same taxes that broke ass working folks like us have to pay, AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!eleven!!one. As we reported last year, Blade / White Men Can’t Jump / Demolition Man / Other Shitty Action Movies No One Wants to Admit They Remember star Wesley Snipes was facing a possible 40-years in prison on federal tax fraud charges. But today it was announced that he had been aquitted on the most serious of these charges, but found guilty on three lesser charges of failing to file a tax return. Though these offenses are punishable by up to three years in the joint, chances are good that he will get off with a fine, that he can easily pay with his massive offshore stockpile of loot, and a couple signed pictures of him pwning vampires for the judge’s goth son. Speculation is growing that he will also soon be named Ron Paul’s running mate. Stay tuned.

Fred Thompson announced today that he is dropping out of the race for President, after finishing a distant 45345th in the South Carolina primary, behind Mickey Mouse, Ron Paul, Pope John Paul, and John Paul Jones among others. Lucky for us though, his campaign will forever be remembered for leaving us possibly the most annoying YouTube video EVAR. Seriously, try to watch the whole thing. I dare you. I was gonna make a joke about “Heath Ledger tried to watch it earlier today” but then I thought that might be in bad taste, and here at Synthesis, we don’t do bad taste.

In response to today’s widely circulated New Republic story on Ron Paul’s past missteps in the editorial realm, the Ron Paul 2008 grassroots support has taken evasive action. And before you shoot the messenger (or if you’re just looking for some lulz) you can find this and other swell Ron Paul related campaign materials at the web’s finest forum for Political Discourse, Encylopedia Dramatica.