Carrot Top, (born Scott Thompson, February 25, 1965), is an entertainment anomaly. First making a name for himself as a prop comic, for a time he was the butt of everyone’s jokes. You’d find him popping up in random places (anyone else ever listen to his unlikely audio commentary on Rules of Attraction? I got through about 15 minutes of it before I started clawing at my wrists…)

Well, as it turns out, Carrot Top is NOT to be fucked with. No idea if it’s legit or the work of the roids, but there’s no way around it: Carrot Top could crush you.

He kinda looks like Chico’s most famous transsexual ice cream shop manager, Tedra.

scaaaary!

The Ultimate Warrior really missed his calling. I mean, he was a bad ass wrestler and all, but I think he would have brought the field of slam poetry to new heights…

I mean, I made a brief compilation of wiki quotes attributed to one Mr. Warrior that would RULE over all the current slam shit:

Normal people, the people that walk the streets every day, we cannot understand!
How must I prepare you must ask yourself.
Should I jump off the tallest building in the world?
Should I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawnmowers?
Should I go to Africa and let it trample me with raging elephants?
Dig your claws into my organs! Stretch into my tendons! Bury your angers into my bones!
This freak of nature right here is just beginning to swell.
And when I get big enough, brother, there ain’t gonna be room for anybody else but me and all the Warriors floating through the veins, and the power of the Warriah~

Ah Ultimate Warrior, thanks for the inspiration and perpetual perspiration:

Roids man….roids. DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYES!!!!!!!!