I hold with the utmost contention that Nickelback is the indeed the lamest mainstream rock band of the last 25 years. Lamer than Creed, lamer than Poison, lamer than even Limp Bizkit. I’m listening to “Rockstar” right now, and I just can’t believe it. Is there no limit to Nickelback’s level of cheese? A sample of lyrics:

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that like to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I’ll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)

The popularity of this band simply baffles me. All of their songs reek. I’m not saying they’re bad guys—they do what they can for charity and all that jazz. But their music is just the most absurd melodramatic bullshit imaginable. All The Right Reasons 7x platinum? Dear God. It’s all too much…

It’s been 5 days since GTA IV came out and Rockstar has already sold 6 million copies of the game, beating out Halo 3’s launch week. 4 million people bought it the day it came out, which happened to be the 16th anniversary of the LA Riots. The game has generated $390 million. Violent video games are AWESOME!!!!11

Everyone’s favorite middle-aged dudes in clown masks Slipknot will be raking in the dough this summer as headliners of the Rockstar Energy Mayhem tour, which will also feature Disturbed, Underoath, Mastodon and a shitload more heavy ass bands, basically picking up where Ozzfest fucked off. The tour is of course yet another brainchild of Warped Tour / Taste of Chaos founder Kevin Lyman, who seems to be pwning the touring festival circuit these days. Dates for the tour are after the jump. Stay tuned to Synthesis for a shitload more coverage of this tour  (more…)

On April, 8th 1994 an electrician found Kurt Cobain’s body in a spare room above his garage, dead from a self inflicted shotgun wound. Near his body was the following note:

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