Not that it’s a surprise, but R. Kelly was acquitted of all child porn charges today. It took them 6 years to go to trial, and the alleged female victim, who was as young as 13 at the time of the supposed crime, is now 23. As everyone in the world has read, the large mole that Mr. Kelly (who’s music is a fucking joke) has on his back was not visible on the man that appeared on the tape that was shown to the jury, and was the prosecutions only piece of real evidence.

What really scares me is that if it wasn’t R. Kelly peeing on that little girl in the video, then who was it? Some child pee-er on-er has been roaming free for years now, being allowed to urinate on any little girl he wants with no legal recourse!! He probably wised up and stopped video taping that shit once he realized that R. Kelly was about to take the rap for his pissings, but I have a hard time believing he stopped cruising 8th grade dances looking for chicks to use as human urinals.

Wanted: One child pisser that looks exactly like a shitty R & B singer minus a mole on his back.

From str8hiphop.com:

Stella Foster of the Chicago Sun-Times reports that R.Kelly’s long-time publicist Regina Daniels has officially resigned.

Read the explosive press release announcing her departure from the Pied Piper of R&B…..

Friends and Colleagues – After careful consideration and counsel, I have decided to formally announce my resignation as publicist for R&B artist R. Kelly.

My resignation was effective as of August 28, 2007. Throughout the course of my 25 years as a publicist, I have prided myself on loyalty, respect and professionalism. It saddens me that I was not always shown those same courtesies during my 14 year tenure as Mr. Kelly’s publicist.

Though I have a great appreciation for Mr. Kelly as an artist, there are some lines that should never be crossed professionally or personally. Mr. Kelly crossed a line that forever altered the scope of our relationship. For this reason I made the decision to resign.

My husband, music retailer George Daniels, has also disassociated himself from Mr. Kelly. George and I are grateful for the show of support and encouragement that we have already received from many of you. We want you to know that we thank you, sincerely. Without change, progress is impossible.”Keeping that in mind, I am excited to tell you that my agency, Daniels Entertainment Group, has an incredible year of expansion and success planned for 2008. Be on the lookout for an update in the near future!”

- Regina Daniel

There’s no doubting the genius of R. Kelly. I’m not trying to kid, though. I’m serious. Every time I hear “Ignition” is like the first time, and the version of the National Anthem he did a while back was one of the best I’ve ever heard.

I, like many, was both thrilled and confused by Kelly’s hip-hopera Trapped in the Closet. But I guess it’s not entirely for mortals to understand. The ending left us all a bit hanging, but fear not, Kells is a man of his word. Trapped in the Closet, chapters 13 through 22 will be available on DVD August 21st. Check out Kelly’s trailer for the video at Stereogum.