Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

While SXSW offers opportunities to see rather large bands in relatively small settings (REM at Stubbs, anyone?), I more look forward to discovering new, not widely known acts. One band that I’m really excited for is The Death Set, a Baltimore-via-Sydney spaz punk/electro duo (or quartet, depending on how many drummers they’ve roped into the show). They’re supposed to put on a very fun, in-your-face show and have kids hanging from the rafters and all…in a short time they’ve built a reputation that they will hopefully live up to when I see them play in about 3 hours. Check back for our video interview soon, and in the meantime, here’s their SXSW schedule.

Mar 12 2008 12:30A Todd P Midnight acoustic BBQ @ “The Six Pack” on UT Campus Austin, Texas
Mar 12 2008 4:00P SXSW Terrorbird 4pm @Emos Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 2:30P SXSW 2:30pm Above The Radar Party @ Trophys Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 8:00P SXSW 8pm Bikes in the Kitchen party @ Ms Beas Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 10:30P SXSW Ninja Tune showcase @ Elysium Austin, Texas
Mar 14 2008 5:15P SXSW 5:15pm Vice party @ The Victory Grill Austin, Texas
Mar 14 2008 11:30P SXSW I Heart Comix @ The Austin Garage Austin, Texas

Seminal political punk rock group The Subhumans, who in the 80s reminded people in the punk scene that inventiveness and raw energy are not mutually exclusive, are on the return. Their new album, Internal Riot, was released a few short months ago, ending a nine-year hiatus from new material. Now they’re bringing it back to the states. The Subhumans are back out on tour and will be hitting the US west coast in April. Check out the live dates after the jump.

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In case the 12-year-old suburban high school douchebags in all-over-print hoodies and stunner shades weren’t proof enough that crunk/hyphy/etc. al hadn’t jumped the shark long ago, the latest nail in the coffin comes courtesy of our friends at Fearless Records, who today announced their plans for a Punk Goes Crunk compiliation. From the press release:

Fearless Records (Plain White T’s, Sugarcult, Mayday Parade) will release Punk Goes Crunk in April 2008. This compilation will feature popular rock, pop, screamo, and punk artists covering popular rap and hip-hop tracks.

Punk Goes Crunk will include songs off of the never released Immortal Records compilation, Yo! Indie Rock Raps, such as Say Anything, Kenny from The Starting Line, New Found Glory, The Maine, Hot Rod Circut, My American Heart, and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. This album will also include tracks from All Time Low, The Devil Wears Prada, Set Your Goals, and other artists who will be announced soon.

Tell When to Go! DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

Myself, I wasn’t entirely thrilled with Daphne Loves Derby’s Good Night, Witness Light, but about a hundred thousand 17 year old Asian scene kids who used to have mad rad hair accounts are THRILLED.

Like, OMG! Their PureVolume Page. Joining Daphne Loves Derby will be This Providence, The Higher and The Reign of Kindo. I’m kind of feeling This Providence, though.

After writing that I decided to track down my DLD album just to remind myself why they aren’t my favorite band. Diet punk for the sensitive and misunderstood. Now I need to listen to some brutal metal to cleanse my palette. fuuuuuuuuuu……..

Oct 20 2007 6:00PM
Beat Kitchen w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Chicago, Illinois

Oct 21 2007
6:00P
Varsity Theater w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Oct 23 2007
6:00P
Mac’s Bar w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Lansing, Michigan

Oct 24 2007
6:00P
Agora Ballroom w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Cleveland, Ohio

Oct 25 2007
6:00P
Xtreme Wheels w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Buffalo, New York

Oct 26 2007
6:30P
School Of Rock w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
South Hackensack, New Jersey

Oct 27 2007
6:00P
The Harmony Grange w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign Of Kindo
Wilmington, Delaware

Oct 28 2007
2:30P
Trocadero - EARLY SHOW w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign Of Kindo
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Oct 29 2007
7:00P
Living Room w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Providence, Rhode Island

Oct 30 2007
6:30P
Webster Theatre w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Hartford, Connecticut

Nov 1 2007
7:00P
The Knitting Factory w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
New York, New York

Nov 2 2007
5:30P
Club Relevant w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Nov 3 2007
5:30P
The Brewery w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Raleigh, North Carolina

Nov 5 2007
6:00P
The Masquerade w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Atlanta, Georgia

Nov 6 2007
7:00P
The Orpheum w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Tampa, Florida

Nov 7 2007
6:00P
AKA Lounge w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Orlando, Florida

Nov 9 2007
7:00P
Javajazz w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Houston, Texas

Nov 10 2007
6:00P
Rock Bottom Bar w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
San Antonio, Texas

Nov 11 2007
6:30P
The Door w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Dallas, Texas