Fat Ed is definitely no punk. In this educational video he teaches all pussies how to do metal the right way. Watch it an stop being a fucking coward.

San Francisco punk band and former Synthesis Band You’ve Never Heard Of…OF THE DAY!!111 La Plebe, is up to some big shit, touring Europe ( including a few dates with Lagwagon) and just being all around badasses. Synthesis correspondent Wyatt Nation hit them up a week or so back to chop it up and the results are ready for your perusal over at the old Synthesis.net music page.

Man oh man, the Death Set puts on a show. Damn. Watch Baltimore’s The Death Set DESTROY a Jackson Five tune before launching into their own stuff, bringing half the audience on stage with them. Totally. We caught this at SXSW on Wednesday afternoon. What a way o start a week of debauchery!

As you may remember from my Pulitzer-worthy piece of journalism from a late-night SXSW 08 encounter, James from Does it Offend You, Yeah? is way cool in my book. His band’s music ain’t none too bad, too. (See, Pulitzer-worthy blog writer over here. Vernacular my boy, vernacular.) Their US/British Columbia tour kicks off with a performance at Coachella, and if you live near one of their tour stops I suggest you not sleep on it.

“In anticipation their album will be available digitally Tuesday April 1st and in the best retail stores on April 15th. Just so you know the UK version is out today. It has a different cover but the same great music. OK?”

04-25 Indio, CA - Coachella
04-30 San Diego, CA - Casbah*
05-01 Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre*
05-02 Pomona, CA - Glass House*
05-03 San Francisco, CA - Slim’s*
05-05 Portland, OR - Hippodrome*
05-06 Seattle, WA - Neumos*
05-07 Vancouver, British Columbia - Richard’s on Richards*
05-09 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge*
05-10 Denver, CO - Bluebird Theatre*
05-12 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue*
05-13 Chicago, IL - The Mansion*
05-14 Cleveland Heights, OH - Grog Shop*
05-15 Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s*
05-16 New York, NY - Highline Ballroom*
05-17 Brooklyn, NY - Southpaw*
*with Yo Majesty

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

While SXSW offers opportunities to see rather large bands in relatively small settings (REM at Stubbs, anyone?), I more look forward to discovering new, not widely known acts. One band that I’m really excited for is The Death Set, a Baltimore-via-Sydney spaz punk/electro duo (or quartet, depending on how many drummers they’ve roped into the show). They’re supposed to put on a very fun, in-your-face show and have kids hanging from the rafters and all…in a short time they’ve built a reputation that they will hopefully live up to when I see them play in about 3 hours. Check back for our video interview soon, and in the meantime, here’s their SXSW schedule.

Mar 12 2008 12:30A Todd P Midnight acoustic BBQ @ “The Six Pack” on UT Campus Austin, Texas
Mar 12 2008 4:00P SXSW Terrorbird 4pm @Emos Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 2:30P SXSW 2:30pm Above The Radar Party @ Trophys Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 8:00P SXSW 8pm Bikes in the Kitchen party @ Ms Beas Austin, Texas
Mar 13 2008 10:30P SXSW Ninja Tune showcase @ Elysium Austin, Texas
Mar 14 2008 5:15P SXSW 5:15pm Vice party @ The Victory Grill Austin, Texas
Mar 14 2008 11:30P SXSW I Heart Comix @ The Austin Garage Austin, Texas