After suffering a “mild” heart attack, American actor Kelsey Grammer is recovering in an undisclosed hospital in Hawaii. Grammer, most beloved for his recurring role as Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons television show (and, you know, that whole Cheers and Frasier thing that never really took off…), aged 53, owns property on the island of Kona with his wife Camille. According to AP, Grammer’s spokesman says the television and film star suffered a mild heart attack while paddle boarding on Saturday and will be released early this week, adding “there’s no reason to be blue.”

sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.

Looking for the perfect for entertaining your “young friends” in  lavish privacy? Well you may soon have a chance to bid on the property that set the standard for opulent molestation: Michael Jackson’s “fairy” (and I don’t use that word lightly) - tale fantasy playhouse, Neverland Ranch. It was announced today that unless Jackson can come up with the $25 million nut he owes on the property by March 19th, Neverland will be foreclosed and sold at auction:

Jackson has been formally apprised of the foreclosure and that legal documents have also been filed with the Santa Barbara County Recorder’s office. “You are in default of a deed of trust …,” Jackson was told in the five-page filing, according to a copy of the document published by FoxNews.com. “Unless you take action to protect your property it may be sold at a public sale.”

The property is 2,800 acres  in size and contains, among other things, a zoo and a theme park, with a Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, zipper, spider, sea dragon, wave swinger, super slide, dragon wagon kiddie roller coaster and bumper cars. It is of course named after Neverland, the island in the story of Peter Pan where children never grow up. But if that’s not enough for your child rape needs. Here’s the best part: your only neighbor is, get this….Midland School, a college prep boarding school ! Granted 13-year-olds might be a little on the old side, but hey, like they say: shop local!

No word yet on when the auction would be held, but when it is, if Chris Hanson isn’t kicking it in Los Olivos filming a special episode of To Catch a Predator that week homeboy is tripping! Every CP head, smoothie hunter and pedobear afficianado from here to Singapore is gonna be bidding on that shit!!111