In an attempt to break a world record for most hours flying using party balloons, a Brazilian Roman catholic Priest, suspended by 1,000 helium balloons, is now missing. His aim was to raise money to build a rest-stop church for truckers.

Even on my best day I couldn’t make this shit up.

Wacky news story of the day or sign of the impending apocalypse? Either way, this is why I listen to the BBC in the morning:

“Father Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday, equipped with a parachute, thermal suit, satellite phone and a GPS device.

A sea and air rescue operation is under way after he lost contact with port authority officials late on Sunday.

He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons.

Father Carli was hoping to raise money to fund a rest stop for lorry drivers in Paranagua, one of Brazil’s major ports for agricultural products.”

Yeah, I don’t think I have anything else to add. Complete lyrics to Jimmy Webb’s “Up, Up and Away” and a full wikipedia synopsis of The Flying Nun after the jump. (more…)

Even if you’re not a Christian, I’m sure you know about the seven deadly sins - lust, gluttony, avarice, sloth, anger, envy and pride - the seven cardinal vices that supposedly damned ones soul to eternal damnation. Well apparently not enough people are fucking up these days, because the Vatican has announced seven new additions to the list. Unlike their predecessors, the new deadly sins are a little less concise, and a little more controversial. They include:

Taking or dealing in drugs
Polluting the environment
Engaging in “manipulative” genetic science
Pedophilia
Abortion
Social injustices that cause poverty
The excessive accumulation of wealth by a few

The thing about these sins is that they’re nothing really new. It’s like when Taco Bell gets a new “Crunchy Cheesy Wrapped Super Supreme” whatever-the-fuck: its just the same shit put together in a different way. I mean, I’m sure they’re well intentioned and all but has fear of hell ever really stopped people from fucking off? I mean, Catholic Priests, supposedly the “intermediaries between Man and Divinity” get more little boy ass than an elementary school toilet seat. And “excessive accumulation of wealth?” Wigger please! From a Time Magazine article:

Bankers’ best guesses about the Vatican’s wealth put it at $10 billion to $15 billion. Of this wealth, Italian stockholdings alone run to $1.6 billion, 15% of the value of listed shares on the Italian market. The Vatican has big investments in banking, insurance, chemicals, steel, construction, real estate.

And besides, they forgot puppy throwing…