Keys 2 The City.

I’m kinda feeling the whole focus-on-a-city approach to music. When artists rep their shit so often that they become the ambassadors of their home town, it can offer a unique peek into the culture and promise of a region. Our buddy turned us on to this Imeem post by Indiediot, and I’ve been checking out the footage. And so should you.

Curated by [The Roots], the [Roots Picnic] festival brought together an eclectic group of some of the most revered artists in the country including Gnarls Barkley, Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, Deerhoof, The Cool Kids, J*DaVey, Esperanza Spalding, Dj Jazzy Jeff, Diplo, and more. Check out these exclusive videos and photos from The Roots Picnic courtesy of Okayplayer.

Some semi scandalous photos of teen whore Miley Cyrus have been reportedly hacked off her phone by a hacker named TrainReq. Though there are, as of yet, no WIN photos, there are some pretty funny shots of Cyrus wet t-shirting in some public shower (taken by someone else, at that) and of her holding up her shirt to show totally unfappable regions of her 15 year old body. Wait, why is this news again?

Whether getting busted for booze (twice) or fueling pre-marital pregnancy rumors with poor fashion choices, Jenna Bush has always been the headline grabber of President Bush’s two lovely daughters, and last night was no different. As a guest on Larry King Live last night, Jenna came clean and admitted that she will not necessarily vote for John McCain in the fall election, and might instead opt for either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. Whatever with that though, the real news is that apparently those infamous beach photos aren’t actually her…bahh. But hey, its the internet, so we can all just pretend from now on and eventually, everyone will believe its the truth. AH MEMETICS!

Not having a camera during a music festival can be a real drag. I made the best of what I had by utilizing my previously unused camera phone, but I’ve been a walking disaster since last week, and today I managed to break my cell phone as well. I fully expect to break my guitar at my gig tomorrow. Over my own head. Tired…still so incredibly tired….

SXSW is different for all types of attendees, and after attending as a music journalist for the last three, I really am looking forward to being a spectator or band member next year. While ‘08 was my best South By Southwest music festival yet, it was also been a draining one. Interview after interview, broken up by meeting with publicists and filming shows, it feels like I hardly saw any music; Incredible, given the 1,800 bands and 70 venues that buzzed and clattered as I made my way to the next assignment. I think i saw 5 bands total that I was not actually working on in some way.

That’s why on Saturday night, I cut loose loosey-goosey. Bonkers mad drunk. I managed to worm myself and Brit Unicorn past the lines to catch Two Gallants and a bit of Tokyo Police Club (where double Stoli Redbulls were $8, $14 and $12 depending on which bartender you wound up with) before heading to the Promised Land where American Spirit Cigarettes were being given away two packs at at time and free vodka flowed like the whores out of a crumbling Babylon.

I am a people person, and instead of badge-snooping for Spin hotshots and BBC personalities who I heard were in the herd, i ended up doing what I do every SXSW: finding a group of Austinites and shooting the shit about music while getting pissed. I remember Colin having a sweet handlebar moustache, some girl with a big booty named Ann freaking me, and encouraging some random dude to sign his name on my arm, all while spouting Bill Hicks quotes and being affable drunk Spencer.

Then I noticed Sweden’s Soundtrack of Our Lives setting up. It would prove to be the most epic set I had witnessed at SXSW, if not ever. Okay, so my cameraphone is less than ideal, but I did get a few snaps as I was right up front, thighs against the stage.

Pretty much stationed right underneath Ebbot Lundberg’s impressive rock tummy. Restrainign myself from reaching up and patting it.

I felt the show so hard, hanging on Ian Person’s unbelievable rock moves. Inspirational. He’s got moves like my dog’s got fleas. How is it that Scandinavian rock bands know how to rock about 100 times harder than most American and British rock bands? I was awestruck with TSOOL’s set, a heady brew of psychedelic trippiness and kick-out-the-jams face melting. Honestly, I’d seen the band at Curiosa from about 50 yards back, but being right up front was way more than 50 yards better. Don’t do the math.

My video camera was on the fritz. My digital camera was broken. My brain was scrambled and my hands were in the air, making continuous rock gestures. I spilled drinks on the leather jacket-clad rockers behind me. I grabbed random drinks off stage when mine was empty. The rock took over and I became my alter ego. Before I knew it, Buck Knuckle leaned over to Synthesis editor James Barone and said something like “I think this is their last song,” before grabbing the monitors and hoisting myself onstage, making a mad dash for the free tambourine over by Fredrik Sandsten’s drum kit. I smacked that damn instrument for all its worth, and when the song was over I escaped into the VIP section to retrieve another drink, getting nods of approval from, well, the VIPs I suppose. I doubt I was nonchalant about it. One guy did say something about ‘thanks for runing the show,’ but envy-green wasn’t a good color for him. “Mmmm, how witty, you must be a writer for Spin, mmmmm…” I condescended back.

The Soundtrack of Our Lives set was then over, but the band decided on an encore and made their way back out on stage, with Ian and Martin beginning the song in a soft manner. (For the record, I am not a TSOOL expert, so I have no idea about track names and was too drunk to find out or care. I just know that I felt the rock like never before.) As Frederik began clicking his sticks to a Latin-flavored rhythm, I had to get back on stage, knowing full well I was pressing my luck.

But I had plenty of luck to be pressed. I sauntered back on stage and grabbed the free tambourine again, making eye contact with their mildly concerned drummer. It wasn’t the easiest rhythm, so he began mouthing me the hits. I followed him, and once I had it down Frederik pushed the overhead mic over to me to play into. From then it was on. My hand was so bruised because, well, drunken tambourine players show no mercy. I shook that thing in the way you should NEVER shake a baby. I was throwing high kicks in there, earning a shit-eating grin from the Townsend-dressed Mattias Bärjed who i was situated behind.

I don’t think I was too off, either. Of course, given my state I can’t be certain. All I know is that for two songs I was a member of The Soundtrack of Our Lives for the closing set of SXSW 2008, and it felt perfect.

Of course by then Ryan, who got great shots of the band earlier in the set, had taken off. So I have no photo evidence of my moment in the sun. If anyone was there at the Soundtrack of Our Lives Saturday late night Spin/American Spirit party and got photos of the band with that random long-haired dude who decided to jump up on stage and play tambourine, please, PLEASE send them to:

gorgeousarmadapresents (at) gmail [d0t] com
myspace.com/gorgeousarmada

I’m trying to find new ways to both stoke out my bandmates and make my mother feel mortified. Thank you.

In the coming days you’ll most likely want us to STFU about SXSW, so I’ll keep this introductory South By Southwest blog brief. For those unfamiliar, SXSW is a music festival in Austin, TX where music industry professionals and semi-professionals from around the globe come to schmooze, ink deals and drink as much free alcohol as possible while seeing some of the largest (and smallest) bands play in some of the smallest venues. For instance, one of 2006’s highlights was seeing the Flaming Lips with about 250 people.

It’s spring break for the music industry, and Synthesis is here in Austin on assignment to bring you some sweet video coverage (which you can see via our youtube page).

Things that Rule about Austin, TX: BBQ. It’s enough to turn a vegetarian insane with meat rage, and for all those who are trying to keep away from the savory deliciousness of places like Ironworks or Stubbs, we wish you the best of luck. I put my veg status on away for the week. Our other vegetarian crumbled upon entering Ironworks, and soon tears were streaming from his eyes as he gorged on beef ribs. Tears of pure rib joy. Now we all know why Adam got all nuts and got himself and Eve kicked out of the Garden of Eden: was missing out on ribs.
Things that you don’t want to have happen on your first day of SXSW: your camera decides that it is done with life. On the first day. Drat. Double drat. My screen is broken, and without a viewfinde my camera is pretty much useless. Hence, a blog without original pictures. Le sigh.

Some Day 1 stats:
Sweet beards witnessed: 3 (I judge a beard as beings “sweet” if it’s four fingers long. Mine is not yet sweet.)
Close encounters with famous rock stars: 2 (Velvet Underground kingpin Lou Reed and ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons are staying at our hotel. Apparently Billy Bob Thornton is also here, but that was reported to me by video matt.)
Lone Star Beers consumed: 3
Sweet photos taken: 0
People staying in our 2-person luxury suite: 5
People I’ve caught eying me, trying to figure out if I was “somebody”: 17 or so

Hey, it was a travel day and we haven’t been here more than a few hours. Besides I said I wouldn’t write about the Dub Trio show we all caught because someone else is gonna blog about that shit.

I’ve been to my share of Sacramento Kings games and even though they don’t really win that much anymore maybe they could have some NBA Hot Cheerleader battle or something since this whole “hot cheerleader” photo thing has gotten the Kings more attention this season then anything else. I’m sure you might have seen
this by now about the lovely (and talented) Kings “dancer” / Cheerleaders. Now people are freaking out on the “internets” about it. I say - let them have fun… I say “right on”.

I’m just wondering where the rest of the photos from this seemingly epic night actually went. In hopes of finding more and in the spirit of sharing we bring you some more photos of the Sacramento Kings Cheerleaders.

So srsly… where are the rest?