Yesterday’s misleadingly-titled “100 Mayors For Hillary” event went off without a hitch! … Except  only 19 mayors actually showed up to the Rotunda of the Pennsylvania Capital. What do you do when less than 20% of your guests show up?

Step 1: Throw their names on a plaque. Tell the public:

“Rally organizers never expected all 100 mayors to attend and that some were participating in Clinton events in their home cities,” said Kathleen Strand of the Clinton campaign.

Step 2:  Take the focus off yourself. Begin Obama-bashing…

Obama’s comments at an SF fundraiser: some voters in small towns in Pennsylvania cling to guns or religion because of their frustration over their economic circumstances.

Harrisburg Mayor Stephen Reed: “Obama’s comments are divisive and condescending… Small-town values are the bedrock of American values.”

Step 3: Cloud it with confusion.

At a later rally yesterday, supportive mayor, Easton’s Sal Panto, claimed, “Earlier today I was in our Capitol in Harrisburg, in the Rotunda, where I was joined by 100 other mayors across our state, in a coalition that this state has never seen, in support of Sen. Clinton.”

I tried to throw my boyfriend a surprise party once. Only 3 of his friends showed up. I felt kinda bad so I invited 3 of my girlfriends. Everyone went home with a smile on their face. I should be a party planner.

Oh, I guess some of you might. Well, the word is that a Pennsylvania hunter was out in the woods to shoot photos of deer when he stumbled upon an animal that pretty much looks like either a) a bear doing its best imitation of Quasimoto; b) a big-ass hunting dog who was lost in the fray of an afternoon firefight; c) a severely wayward baby African elephant; or d) Robin Williams touching his toes. The animal in question, according to the Bigfoot Research Organization’s (?) Paul Majeta, appears to be a “juvenile Sasquatch.” There are even rumors of a spike in Bigfoot existence gambling odds, according to an online gambling blog. The things people will find interesting when they try to ignore Global Warming…
The real tragedy here is that somewhere out there, Harry is looking for his son.. John Lithgow could not be reached for comment.

Get this: one guy gets another guy to pose for him during a paternity test so that he won’t have to pay child support to his babymamma in Virginia. The reason? So his wife and children in Pennsylvania wouldn’t find out. Oh, and both men are officers in the US Army. Here’s to standing up for American values.

Full Article

CARLISLE, Pa. — Two high-ranking U.S. Army officers are accused of teaming up to deceive a paternity test so one of them could avoid making child-support payments.

When [Col. Scott] Carlson went to the domestic relations office in Cumberland County to deny paternity, he was told he would have to submit a DNA sample to show that he was not the father, officials said.

A month after that, officials said Carlson convinced Col. Bruce Adkins to pose as him and provide the DNA sample. The paternity test came back negative, but workers at the domestic relations office caught on to what was happening, officials said.

If convicted, the men face the possibility of prison time. Carlson is currently in Egypt. Adkins is stateside and is expected to turn himself in some time this week.

Officials said Carlson was trying to avoid paying the child support in Virginia because he was trying to keep the situation secret from his wife and children in Pennsylvania.