If you take anything away from this blog, I hope it’s this: When the Beach Master starts showering you with water and dung, maybe you should take that as a hint to back the fuck up. Hippo Beach airs on PBS Sunday, Sept. 16th at 8pm EST. Check local listings.

Proving that competition exists at every level of broadcasting, PBS is trying to stick it to the Discover Channel by premiering Shark Mountain the same day as Discovery Channel’s Shark Week kickoff. Drama. But if you’re a marine biology nerd with TiVo, consider this your heads up. Shark Mountain airs July 29th at 8PM.