Finally a campaign ad worth watching: Paris Hilton for President.

This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Paris Hilton is hoping to team with other tabloid and paparazzi loved ladies, especially Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. She wants to produce a reality television show so the public can see what life is like in the spotlight. Does anyone really care to watch all these trainwrecks at once? Hell no. Hilton also wants to produce a two-hour special.

“Just imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling — as well as [Denise] Richards, Hilton and her former ‘The Simple Life’ co-star, Nicole Richie — together in one big two-hour special sharing ‘their side’ of what it’s like to be them.
That concept alone reportedly has intrigued a couple of cable channels initially contacted about the concept: Bravo and Lifetime.”

Bad, bad idea. Hilton has to lure them back to the spotlight right after they finally clean it up. This is going to be a crotch-shot mess.

“America’s toughest sheriff,” Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, AZ, has long been a controversial figure in law enforcement. Arpaio’s dessert reign has drawn much national attention and criticism for his hard line stance on the rights of inmates. He’s also made news within the past year for his public appeal to have Paris Hilton serve the remainder of her DUI sentence in Maricopa.

With this weekend’s Super Bowl headed towards his jurisdiction, “Nicklebag” Joe (a D.E.A. nickname bestowed upon Arpaio for his litany of small-time arrests) has come out with antagonistic comments towards the celebrity fanfare, most specificly quarterbacks Tom Brady and Eli Manning. Arpaio boasts that he has a “pair of pink underwear, a bologna sandwich and a spot in a dirty old prison tent for Tom Brady, Eli Manning or, most certainly, Paris Hilton.”

GIVE ME A BREAK. Tom Brady? Eli fucking Manning? These are pretty boys, clean as they come, who would never, ever find their way into the trouble with the law, let alone before the Super Bowl. Arpaio brings three words to mind: ludicrous, shameless and malicious. When checking Nicklebag’s history of violation towards constitutional rights, I suppose though that it is not surprising such comments would be made. This is a man that dreams of having Maricopa County be home to the largest collection of inmates in the country. This is the type of heavy handed law and order that fosters every type of brutal stereotype hung on cops across the nation. Joe Arpaio is the kind of guy that takes great pleasure in the pain of others.

Here is a website with much information, dedicated to Joe Arpaio’s removal from law enforcement.

Shithead celebrity gossip sites are blowing loads all over their own chesticles over this weekend’s big news: Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton apparently hooking it up in Las Vegas. Here’s hoping there will be a tape soon! Lord knows I haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s vagina NEARLY enough times. Not saying I wouldn’t still hit it, because I would. I’m just saying that Paris Hilton’s genitalia have become officially fap-proof. For some tri-tip smuggling action, take the leap and you’ll see what I mean… [OMGGG NSFW!!1] (more…)

Shit, I thought this was going to be another Paris Hilton sex tape.

Two Days in Paris, check it out.

I’m not going to blog about Paris Hilton. I’m not going to blog about Paris Hilton. I’m not going to blog about Paris Hilton. I’m going to blog about Paris Hilton… shit.

Blah blah blah, one minute she’s at MTV movie awards and then next she’s in an orange jumpsuit. She’s got two bunks, a table, sink, toilet, and small window. Oh and here’s her mug shot:

She’ll be fine. Enough fuss.