wearing scrunchies! AND ugly tights!!

yes, I know that collectively they look like the 8 year old girls who would normally sport such atrocity BUT don’t be fooled!

these bitches are grown ass women (well, maybe not the Chinese ones according to this here) and should be tried as so for continuously committing crimes of fashion.

CALLING ALL CARS!!!!

it’s not 1990 anymore people. yes, I know you were born the in the 90’s but I’m sorry, it’s shit is ridiculous.

Shawn Johnson, Nastia Liukin and the rest of you bitches need to pawn off your shiny medals and Nike contracts for some new clothes, hair accessories and maybe even some growth hormone because being 18 and barely topping 5′0” or weighing 90lbs is NOT NORMAL!!!

but shizzz… i guess if it can make you do some of the sick shit i saw in this video below AND kick the Chinese’s ass, then who cares right?

With their recent pwning of Georgia, the Russian bear has awakened from a two-decade hibernation to rattle its sabers at the United States, threating to go “beyond diplomacy” in response to the recent US-Polish agreement on building a strategic missile shield in Poland’s, just 115 miles from Russian soil:

Russia says its response to the further development of a U.S. missile shield in Poland will go beyond diplomacy.Russia’s Foreign Ministry issued a statement saying the U.S. missile shield plans are clearly aimed at weakening Russia.

The U.S. says the missile defense system is aimed at protecting the U.S. and Europe from future attacks from states like Iran.

So as it stands today, the teams for World War III are looking like the United States, Israel and Europe, or at least the parts of it that are stupid enough to not be neutral, vs Russia, Iran, Venezuela, North Korea, Cuba and most of the rest of the middle east. WHO’S GONNA WIN? Maybe China will come in at the last minute and blow up fucking EVERYBODY and just take over the world like they did the Olympics. STAY TUNED!

Hell, didn’t stop Lance Armstrong, right? Yo Shanteau, keep it up man, you got serious balls for doing what you’re doing.

From AP:

ATLANTA (AP) — Olympic swimmer Eric Shanteau is heading to Beijing with a devastating diagnosis: He has testicular cancer.

In an exclusive interview with The Associated Press, Shanteau said he learned just a week before the Olympic trials in Omaha, Neb., that he had cancer. His doctors cleared him to compete in that meet and he surprisingly made the team in the 200-meter breaststroke, finishing second ahead of former world-record holder and heavy favorite Brendan Hansen.

Even though Shanteau’s doctors have advised him to have surgery now, he’s planning to put it off until after Beijing because he doesn’t want to disrupt his lifelong goal. The 24-year-old Georgia native will be monitored closely over the next month and vows to drop out of the Olympics if there’s any sign is cancer is spreading.

A new report in the online magazine PLos Medicine reveals that through surveys of Americans, 16.2 percent of Americans had tried cocaine at least once, and 42.4 percent had used marijuana, making us number one in the world for illegal drug use. This is in comparison to New Zealand, who came in a close second, where just 4.3 percent of study participants had used cocaine, and 41.9 percent marijuana.

In the Netherlands, where drug policy is more liberal than the United States, 1.9 percent of survey participants said they had used cocaine and 19.8 percent marijuana.

Twelve US 12 states including California permit medical use of marijuana, but possession and use remains prohibited under federal law.

And despite the US government’s massive anti-drug efforts, the United States remains the world’s top drug market, one amply supplied by South American cartels.

The US Drug Enforcement Agency has observed ever larger quantities of illegal drugs pouring into the country.

“We are seizing greater quantities of illegal drugs than ever before,” said a DEA statement last week.

In 2007, agents seized 41 metric tons of cocaine in just two raids, and denied drug traffickers record-breaking revenue of 3.5 billion dollars for the year, it said.

We may get our asses handed to us in every single sport at the Olympics this year, but goddamn it if we won’t give a shit ’cause we’ll all be too yay’d out and stoned. USA! USA!

This is Allison Stokke. She’s a pole vaulter, and she just might be too good looking.

Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Michael Redd, Deron Williams.

Those would be the names of your coming US Olympic basketball team. Oddly absent would be a single Celtic, which will surely cause outrage on the East Coast. But let’s hope this bunch can right the US tradition of gold, as nothing else is deemed acceptable.