Today on the way to work I witnessed a really heartwarming scene: Emerging victoriously from the pawn shop, a bedraggled, toothless bum carrying a Fender Squier practice amplifier in one hand and a green Stratocaster in the other. His ginormous, tooth-barren smile was the kind that a child gives when they get their first puppy, or when an octogenarian wins the lottery. Dude was stoked to get his gear out of hock; if he had a free hand I would have given him a high five right there on the spot.

The spare-changers have been on the grind lately. Whether its the recent Obama-spawned goodwill, the nearing ThanksChristmas holidays or just the fact that it’s mid-November and it’s still a sunny 75 degrees in Chico, folks are in a good mood. The free change flows like beer from a freshly-tapped keg.
The young, well-dressed, earringed dude who ran into me at 2 PM in downtown who just “ran out of gas and is waiting for his girlfriend to borrow a gas can. I just need to get home, could you help me out?” was just as friendly wen I ran into him later at midnight at the AM/PM in the north side of town. “Hey… I thought that was you!” he exclaimed as he quickly jingled up to me. I asked if someone ever helped him out to, you know, get back home with his girlfriend. This garnered me a happy-ending story about some nice old lady. Thwarted from 2nd attempted spanging, he took refuge around the corner with his other young pal and waited for me to take my leave so he continue saving up for whatever their poison. AH, hard at work.

These are the heartwarming stories that make my day. Here’s to your own successful derelict wanderings.

So first we had the old lady who lived to be 114 by drinking booze everyday:

Stout-hearted even after age 100, Minagawa would drink some Japanese sake or other alcoholic beverage every day.

Then we had the Indian guy who had his 21st kid at the age of 90, which he said was because he ate the fuck out of meat:

Mr Jogi, who attributes his remarkable virility to daily walks and plenty of meat, said: “I eat all kinds of meat - rabbits, lamb, chicken and wild animals.”

And now we have the lady celebrating her 100th Birthday by smoking her 170,000th cigarette:

Speaking at her 100th birthday party Winnie said: “I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting. “

So is it just me, or is there a pattern here??