A 32-year-old British woman could not fool customs agents in Norway when she came through wearing a bulging wig. They became suspicious of the big wig and turns out she was concealing 2.2 pounds of cocaine under there! The woman had glued the cocaine to her head.

She was detained under suspicion of smuggling cocaine. The agents thought she had a lot of hair and suspected it was a wig. The cocaine was glued so strongly to the woman’s real hair that she had to be taken to the local hospital to have it removed. She is now being held until a formal indictment and trial.

Now Amy Winehouse’s nasty beehive all makes sense.

I love Queens of the Stone Age, but I’ve always hated Josh Homme’s stage banter. He talks like a kid who just discovered how to curse, ultra excited to use words like “fuck, and “pussy.” Here’s Josh being really mature, berating and ultimately ejecting a teenage kid in Norway for throwing a water bottle at him. Rock and roll! Ow!

According to the Norwegian tabloid Verdens Gang, Kaja Bordevich Ballo, daughter of Norwegian Parliament member Olav Gunnar Ballo, reportedly took her own life [English translation] after scoring poorly on a Scientology personality test. There is some skepticism as to the validity of the report. The results of the test were time-stamped just hours before Ballo’s death, but this could merely be an excuse to cover up the real cause of death, given that Kaja comes from a politically motivated family.

As you may have heard, the personality test, also called the Oxford Capacity Analysis (OCA) or American Personality Analysis, is offered free by the Church of Scientology and comprises an integral part of their recruitment efforts. The test however, has been extensively criticized as it almost exclusively yields negative results. Here are some testimonials from people who have taken the test:
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For one show only…

Rival Schools, made up of members from CIV, Gorilla Biscuits, Quicksand and Youth of Today will be reuniting for Norway’s Hove Festival, which takes place June 23rd - June 27th. Also taking part in the festival will be Converge, Les Savy Fav, Beck, Jay-muthafuckin’-Z, and several other, far less important/interesting acts such as Flogging Molly and Coheed and Cambria.

VIKINGS ARE STOKED!!

If you happen to be a fan of this wonderful band, do yourself a favor and check out some of Walter Schreifels‘ solo work. It’s pretty legit. Also check out his other band, Walking Concert.

From the BBC:

“The Scotsman newspaper quoted Ms Power as saying: “She is a monster, too - that is off the record - she is stooping to anything.”

Obama Adviser Samantha Power Resigns, but it’s too early in the morning to process politics. Before my first cup of coffee, I thought in terms of spin:

Sam Power is a Pulitzer Prize winner - certainly she knows nothing is off the record — especially juicy quotes — and this episode of her resigning is a highly calculated move. It shows Obama taking the moral high ground and forcing anyone in his camp who slings mud to resign, showing him as the moral candidate and better choice as leader.
And me pointing this out as a strategic move not done for morals, but politics, would mean that I’m for Clinton. But since I’m actually for Obama, and that this whole post seems to actually vilify Obama for his duplicity, it’s real purpose is making more Obama fans rush to his aid and defend him. But really, I hope Obama is a little duplicitous because it’s a cut throat world and we need our leader to have some cunning.

See isn’t politics fun?

Now that I’m having my coffee and have had a moment to discuss this with one of the Synthesis office’s sages, I of course realize that I’m too dumb for politics, or maybe not dumb enough for politics, and that I should just drink my coffee and find out what cool bands from Norway will be playing SXSW in Austin next week.

Gorgoroth frontman Gaahl is probably the most metal person on earth. Period. The clip is from the 2005 documentary Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey.

Interviewer: What is the primary ideology or the primary ideals the fuel Gorgorth’s music?

Gaahl: Satan

Interviewer: What does Satan embody, what does he represent?

Gaahl: Freedom

Interviewer: Whether we like it or not, black metal in Norway is known for a string of events that happened in the early 1990s around a series of arsons. I’m interested to know your thoughts on those events, whether you agree with them or disagree?

Gaahl: Church burnings and all these things are of course, things that I support 100% and should have been done much more, and will be done much more in the future. We have to remove every trace from what Christianity and the Semitic roots have to offer this world.

FUCK WITH IT!