In an attempt to break a world record for most hours flying using party balloons, a Brazilian Roman catholic Priest, suspended by 1,000 helium balloons, is now missing. His aim was to raise money to build a rest-stop church for truckers.

Even on my best day I couldn’t make this shit up.

Wacky news story of the day or sign of the impending apocalypse? Either way, this is why I listen to the BBC in the morning:

“Father Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday, equipped with a parachute, thermal suit, satellite phone and a GPS device.

A sea and air rescue operation is under way after he lost contact with port authority officials late on Sunday.

He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons.

Father Carli was hoping to raise money to fund a rest stop for lorry drivers in Paranagua, one of Brazil’s major ports for agricultural products.”

Yeah, I don’t think I have anything else to add. Complete lyrics to Jimmy Webb’s “Up, Up and Away” and a full wikipedia synopsis of The Flying Nun after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Just kidding! She’s fine. She was never even missing.

Dear Concerned Internet Denizens,

Ashley Flores is not missing. This is a hoax. Some idiot fooled you into caring about this young girl who was never actually missing. This is the kind of thing sweeps inboxes every four months or so. My mom passes me shit like this all the time. Do a little research before blindly passing on emails like these. Thank you.

Here’s the full scoop at Urban Legend.

In other news, I know of a widow from the Middle East who will give you millions of her deceased husband’s savings if you help her set up a secure US bank account….email me for details.