Four words: Vern Troyer sex tape. MINI-ME having sex.. with a woman?! It’s just one of those things you don’t want to watch but kind of have to because it’s creepily fascinating. How does that even work? I don’t know, just watch it for yourself BUT BE WARNED or maybe just open one eye. ICK!

Remember when he pissed himself in his motorized scooter on Surreal Life? Things aren’t looking up for him, ha.