After “postponing” shows in Virigina and California for undisclosed reasons, Van Halen are finally putting their ill-fated tour out of its misery. According to TMZ, hotel bookings for the tour are already being cancelled:

We’re told arrangements are being made right now to cancel hotel stays for the tour — which was scheduled to continue through April 19th. Sources tell us the reason for the cancellation is Eddie — that he is having “issues.”

I think the real issue is that EVH realizes that he totally blew it by kicking Michael Anthony and his Jack Daniel’s bass out of the band. I mean, wouldn’t you miss this guy?

We look forward to seeing this whole publicity stunt exploding in a fiery ball of deflated egos and hair plugs. A bald David Lee Roth back with a Michael Anthony-less Van Halen seems about as exciting as watching a young black man sing about Chocolate Rain. Oh, wait, maybe it will rule then!