Britain’s favorite little drug addict was at it again last night, reportedly punching Moroccan musician Mustapha el Mounmi in the face and head butting a stranger who was trying to hail her a cab…

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I’m really glad I got a text from our good friend and balls champion earlier today. You see, I was about to go out on the street and slang, and I was about to do it all wrong. My boy told me to look up “Thug life Commandments,” and I’m glad he did. In Thug Life’s “Ten Crack Commandments Interpreted by True OGs,” we learn the tips of the trade, and ways to continue to follow the true American entrepreneurial spirit without getting shot or locked up.

Take for instance Rule #5. I was about to start selling meth to college freshmen out of my bedroom, but now I know better.:

5th Commandment
Never Sell No Crack Where You Rest At

If you sell crack where you lay yo head, yo crib gon become a target fo 5-0, jackers, addicts and niggas who rob slangas. To avoid this heat, git you some crack houses, Find abandoned cribs in da hood and tak’em over. Fortify yo shit wit security bars, steel doors and security cameras and git you some young and up and coming hoods to be yo lookouts.

Not sure how well this translates from crack to meth, but it’s a good start, and some decent guidelines for sure. This is the shit that the characters in The Wire kinda gloss over. It’s like they figure you should already know this shit because you grew up with it. That’s fucked. Us suburban middle class-raised white folks sure have a major disadvantage. KnowaddimeSane?

In order to help paint her opponent Barack Obama as the “elitist” candidate, on the heels of his recent remarks in San Francisco that small town Midwesterners “get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,” Hillary Clinton took shots of Crown Royal and ate a slice of pizza with Indiana supporters on Saturday. Hopefully this marks a new turn in the contest for the Democratic nomination, in which Clinton and Obama see who can party hardest. Maybe Obama will start doing cocaine again. But that might be a little too “elitist.” He should probably switch to Meth, and really get after that small town vote!

Living pretty much right off of I-5, you get to form a pretty close relationship with methamphetamines; either as a user or spectator. Glad to say myself and (most of) my friends fall squarely in the latter category. But it certainly is entertaining to bike by those deep into their herky-jerky meth binges. It’s almost lovable. Almost…

Nothing like beauty tips from meth addicts…here’s how to turn a scum bag into a total piece of shit: Just add meth. Our local version is almost as sweet as the national.

Rufus Wainwright recently told New York Magazine that he is “probably the one person who can really help Britney Spears.”

Granted, Wainwright did a ton of Meth back in the day (and actually temporally lost his vision during an overdose). Legend also has it that he partied with one of the Bush daughters making him kind of a bad ass but seriously - he also told New York Magazine “Britney Spears is basically an analogy for the world. Whereas Judy Garland was an analogy for the world in the fifties and sixties, Britney is now.” Srsly Wtf dude?

Montana Meth Project
(It’s worth watching)

The Montana Meth Project is a large-scale exercise in prevention, aimed at significantly reducing Meth use in Montana. The integrated program consists of an ongoing, research-based marketing campaign—supported by community outreach and public policy initiatives—that realistically and graphically communicate the risks of methamphetamine to the youth of Montana.

The Meth Project was conceived and founded by businessman and Montana rancher, Thomas Siebel. The purpose is to inform potential Meth consumers about the product attributes and actual risks associated with methamphetamine. The goal is to substantially reduce methamphetamine use.
-montanameth.org