Holding true to their WORD, the Sword will make their way to the West Coast starting in April. Here are the dates:

Apr 14 : Lubbock, TX - Jake’s Sports Center w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 15 : Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 16 : Phoenix, AZ - The Brick House w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 17 : San Diego, CA - The Casbah w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 19 : San Fransisco, CA - Slim’s w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 22 : Seattle, WA - Neumo’s w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 24 : Boise, ID - Neurolux w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 25 : Salt Lake City, UT - Club Vegas w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 26 : Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 28 : Wichita, KS - BarleyCorns w/ Slough Feg & Children
Apr 29 : Oklahoma City, OK - The Conservatory w/ Slough Feg & Children

Dates for Portland, OR, and Los Angeles are on the way. I saw The Sword at 12 Galaxies in San Francisco two years ago, and it looked something like this:

If you look close, you can see a few of us up in the balcony. I’m the one with the melting FACE.

Once upon a time, when a publicity company or record label would send you a CD of a band they wanted you to jock, they would just send you the CD, same as if you bought it in the store, with the artwork, booklet, etc all intact, and at worst, a hole punched in the UPC code or a “PROPERTY OF RECORD COMPANY” stamp on the front. These days though, most of the advances and promo CDs I get are:

A): Watermarked, copy protected (read, can’t be played on a computer) CDs in a bio-waste looking sealed container with no art, no credits, no nothing

B): Ultra-janky CD-Rs with Xeroxed tracklistings

C:) Links to stupid ass “streams” or “music players”

“Big deal” you’re probably saying “you can still hear the music, and that’s all that really should matter, right?” Well, in theory. But the actuality is, unless its a band that I already know about or am looking out for, any promo music I get that is not in the form of an actual, honest to god CD gets fucked off. I mean, I know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but no one ever said anything about CDs. You can actually tell a lot about a CD by its cover. Like whether it’s gonna suck or not. So when there’s no cover, its a lot easier to assume a CD sucks since most CDs do.

“What the fuck does this have to do with Salt the Wound” you might be asking, if you were actually still reading this, which you probably aren’t. Well, you see, Salt the Wound, a metal outfit out of Cleveland, OH were actually smart enough to send along the full artwork and booklet of their debut CD, Carnal Repercussions (due out February 5th) with their advance mailings. If this would have been a CD-R, or worse yet, an e-mail to a digital player, I would have probably never got around to listening to it. But I took one look at the METAL AS FUCK cover art to this record and I knew that it had to crunch. And guess, what? It did. Better yet, the band, knowing that their cover art was pretty much the most bad ass shit EVAR, sent along stickers of it as well. Even if I hadn’t liked the record (which I do) I STILL would have slapped that sticker piece on my desk somewhere, thus cementing Salt the Wound’s ultimate fame. For basically ALL TIME.

When you’re a dude with a bachelor’s in English Lit who only read shit from the 17th century and earlier, you don’t have many chances to show off what you’ve learned. Mostly because no one cares about 9,000-line Old English poems about shepherds boning nymphs anymore. Which is why I was so stoked to hear that avant-metal guitar wizard Mick Barr, under the moniker Ocrilim, will be releasing his new album Annwn on Feb. 5th. You see, I took this Celtic literature class once, and we had to read a collection of Welsh tales called The Mabinogion, which took place in a magical place called Annwn, an “otherworld” which was filled with witches, cauldrons, horse goddesses and bleeding lances. It’s my favorite thing ever. And no, I’m not 12.

I’ve only heard one track off Annwn the album and it sounds similarly fantastical. The whole thing was created using multiple guitars shredding simultaneously. Drums and bass are lame anyway. Check out the 13-plus-minute “Part Five: here.

Dudes (and lady dudes) who read Dragonlance novels and AD&D supplements while practicing their arpeggios, take note. Ibanez has unveiled at the 2008 Winter NAMM their Herman Li and Sam Totman signature guitars, and they look pretty sweet. You should be aware, however, that buying these guitars will in no way make you rule as triumphantly as DragonForce nor shred as mightily as Li and/or Totman, no matter how hard you totally pwned “Through the Fire and Flames” on Guitar Hero III. Only Raistlin has a shot at that. You will instead be awarded an armor class bonus and a +3 modifier for saving throws against wands. And I’d think you were pretty awesome for having them. Cool, huh? If you happen to be at NAMM, or were thinking about going, Li and Totman will be signing there tomorrow at booth #4634 between the hours of 12 and 3 PM.

Synthesis magazine cover alum Alex Pardee revealed over MySpace his artwork for the new In Flames album, A Sense of Purpose, which is due out in April. It looks pretty sick.

According to Pardee in his MySpace bulletin:

So, as i wasn’t allowed to even mention this before, I have been working feverishly with one of the greatest modern metal bands in the world, IN FLAMES, on their new album artwork and packaging for their new album, “A Sense of Purpose”.
Those guys are not only Swedish, but they are also amazing and hilarious. Its like a heavy-metal 3-for!
The cover artwork finally got revealed today.
It was a very involved project, as IN FLAMES had a very specific vision for the look of this album, and i had a LOT to live up to since their last album was designed and illustrated by none other than one of my major influences, Derek Hess!

The liner notes will also contain a 20-page booklet illustrated by Pardee.

Dust off the chain mail and get ready. The Sword have announced their triumphant return. Their sophomore album Gods of the Earth is complete and will be released on April 1st (which better not be some kind of joke) on Kemado. I haven’t heard anything from it yet, but I see from the track listing that it contains two songs with medieval weaponry in their titles (”How Heavy This Axe” and (my favorite) “Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians”). There are also some pretty awesome pagan goddess references (fucking metal!) with “Mother, Maiden and Crone.” I’m pretty sure it’s going to rule. Full track listing below. And for gods’ sake, catch these guys live.

1.) The Sundering
2.) How Heavy This Axe
3.) Lords
4.) Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians
5.) To Take the Black
6.) Maiden, Mother & Crone
7.) Under the Boughs
8.) The Black River
9.) The White Sea