One of my favorite over-priced vices is Starbucks coffee which I properly designated as “FourBucks” because my wallet is feeling a little light lately. Their stock is currently being hammered.. badly. Competition from other more accessible outlets like McDonald’s or Dunkin’ Donuts is creating quite a predicament for the corporate money hounds. Locations with a low profit margin are being retrained to be familiar with Starbuck’s “new image” to overcome the competitiveness in the coffee-fix industry. This is to promote students and working class communities like myself shaking in our boots to order a tongue-twisting drink like a Venti Iced Latte, light ice, extra espresso shot, 2 and ½ shots of syrup, with room.

So Starbucks is following the trend of “going green” and getting personal with their customers. I already think it’s creepy when you walk in and they greet you with your name but hey, that’s good customer service. A little too good. The new “Green” campaign includes giving away used coffee grounds for garden compost use, recycled packaging, continuing the “Fair Trade Movement” and encouraging customers to drink out of ceramic mugs if dining in.

An online community for coffee drinkers was the best idea I’ve heard in awhile. A bunch of jacked-up, opinionated and caffeine-filled customers voicing their opions through “My Starbucks Idea”: an interactive site. So get your ten-worded order in your hand and your laptop in the other. Drink your coffee as you chat about coffee with other customers. Brilliant or just plain over-the-top?

Show up at any McDonalds in the country today, buy a soda, and get a free “Southern” fried chicken sandwich or breakfast biscuit. Not a bad promo for two new products. Only problem is that if you don’t eat McDonalds on any regular basis and now cash in on some free fried what have you, I would be willing to bet that you’re going home with a mean case of the shits.

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In a hearty farewell to Kosovo, who declared its independence last Sunday and broke away from Serbia to “do it’s own thing,” those wacky Serbs decided they’re throwing one hell of a going away party. Thousands are flooding the streets, setting fires, totally going off at police stations, NATO facilities and most recently, the US Embassy in Belgrade. Sweet nuts! They even partied up at the Croatian Embassy AND a McDonalds!

Groups also broke into a McDonald’s restaurant and demolished the interior. A number of other shops were also ransacked and people were seen carrying off running shoes, track suits and other sporting goods from a department store.

Drunken Serb protesters in new track suits, that’s some solidarity. “Hey Kosovo, hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave…”

Did you know that Japanese people love McDonalds?

McDonald’s Holdings Co. (Japan) Ltd. said Thursday its consolidated net profit in 2007 was five times higher than in the previous year, totaling 7.82 billion yen on record high sales of 395.06 billion yen, up 11.1 percent.

In Japan, Ronald McDonald is actually called Donald, probably because he fucking GOES OFF so much harder than the American version that they had to call him something else (not to mention that Japanese folk sometimes have a little bit of trouble with the old Rs and Ls). Not just that, but old Donald McDonald also has a fly ass girlfriend.

AH JAPAN! Where American things that suck go to be cool!