Speaking of WWIII, did you know that not only is talk cheap, but Jews are for McCain? I mean, I guess they’re right, talking really is a whole lot cheaper than dropping $165,984,483,849,293 worth of bombs on some desert country, but whatever. If I was feeling really politically incorrect I could say something like, “I thought Jews were cheap and talking was for McCain” but that’s not really my style. More my style is to point a link to Jews For Obama and leave it at that. Mazel tov.

I was really close to posting some real news, but luckily I came across this awesome site.

Have you ever had the urge to find hot young gay thugs, but just don’t know where to look? Yea, so have I. Gay Thug Dating.com has came to the rescue for all of us hardcore gangbangers who are in search of a same sex companion. Working as a gay eHarmony, the website offers free membership, and boasts itsself under the title “The #1 Gay Thug Community on the Net”. While I don’t think that honor has been given to them officially, I’m sure they have the market pretty much covered.

I couldn’t have foreseen this in a million years. America’s pride and joy, the store that stocks both anti-depressants and shot gun shells, is leaning towards the right wing.

Wal-Mart has recently warned that if the Dems do win the presidential nomination, there’s a likelihood that it will be easier for workers to unionize larger companies. The superstore has always been known for it’s slave fair labor practices, and doesn’t see the need for it’s workers to form labor unions. Besides, who needs medical insurance and workman’s comp anyways?

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is mobilizing its store managers and department supervisors around the country to warn that if Democrats win power in November, they’ll likely change federal law to make it easier for workers to unionize companies — including Wal-Mart.

In recent weeks, thousands of Wal-Mart store managers and department heads have been summoned to mandatory meetings at which the retailer stresses the downside for workers if stores were to be unionized.

According to about a dozen Wal-Mart employees who attended such meetings in seven states, Wal-Mart executives claim that employees at unionized stores would have to pay hefty union dues while getting nothing in return, and may have to go on strike without compensation. Also, unionization could mean fewer jobs as labor costs rise.

The actions by Wal-Mart — the nation’s largest private employer — reflect a growing concern among big business that a reinvigorated labor movement could reverse years of declining union membership. That could lead to higher payroll and health costs for companies already being hurt by rising fuel and commodities costs and the tough economic climate.

The Wal-Mart human-resources managers who run the meetings don’t specifically tell attendees how to vote in November’s election, but make it clear that voting for Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama would be tantamount to inviting unions in, according to Wal-Mart employees who attended gatherings in Maryland, Missouri and other states.

“The meeting leader said, ‘I am not telling you how to vote, but if the Democrats win, this bill will pass and you won’t have a vote on whether you want a union,’” said a Wal-Mart customer-service supervisor from Missouri. “I am not a stupid person. They were telling me how to vote,” she said.

America’s biggest employer, and the working conditions are pretty much intolerable… but hey, where else can you go and get XXL pants, camouflage night vision goggles and McDonalds at 3 in the morning?  SCORE!

This is probably the most even handed cartoon I’ve seen, and one of the only ones that goes after Barak in an intelligent way. Check out the directions at the end of the video to get your face in the video, because that’s what I’mma do right now.

Stay tuned to see what Daniel Taylor’s face is like when he reads this blog.

[Once again Synthesis Blog brings you the rambling wisdom and sagacious meditations of our Synthesis Weekly columnist, Mad Bob Howard. The reclusive and gun-toting Mad Bob can be reached at madbob@madbob.com]

Dude, STFU!
Reverend Wright and the Death of the Original Day Tripper

Believe me, I desperately want to stop writing about politics as much as you probably want to stop reading about them, but everyday I listen to another outrage or episode on the news and my fingers just take over and start doing their little politics tap-dance on these black plastic keys! I am not in control here! I’m a junkie and I’ve got it bad. I’m shaking and slobbering like a dog, vibrating and contorting; there’s a twitch, a spasm. Damn these fits! There’s only one fix for the political junkie, and right now a fresh new batch of the good strong stuff has hit the streets. So politics it is my fine friends. Bend over and get ready for another five swipes with the paddle — or maybe the switch grass. Corporal punishment is alive and well here in the Immaculate Infection.
Reverend Wright and the National Media Launch Torpedo Attack: A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article in support of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. I stand by what I said; I think the Reverend is accurate when he says our nation was founded on racism and that our foreign policy has very much to do with our current “terrorism” woes. I also denounced the national media for taking his quotes out of context and replaying them on endless loop in order to paint the man as a radical zealot.

Unfortunately, it seems that Reverend Jeremiah Wright has taken a liking to the national media spotlight. Apparently a combination of failure to grasp the way this national media machine works and an ego-driven need for attention have rendered in him an inability to understand a fundamental fact.
Right now, every time Reverend Jeremiah Wright opens his mouth it will only hurt Senator Barack Obama’s chance to get into the White House. The story has already been framed by the national media; all they are looking for now is a handful of seven-second quotes to color their paint by numbers picture. The Revered has obliged willingly — stepped into the oncoming train that is the National Press Club and unleashed another political firestorm for Obama’s camp to try and desperately extinguish.
My sources tell me that Hillary Clinton came as close as she has in decades to having an orgasm while she watched Wright roll his eyes, flippantly dismiss the intrusive media questions, and deliver a Sunday-style sermon to a cynical godless media ready and waiting to pounce on any hyperbole that might be twisted to fit a landscape littered with but thirsting for more blood. On the other side of the aisle, John McCain witnessed the spectacle and politely dismissed himself to the restroom to jack himself off. Rush Limbaugh was so happy he popped a half-dozen oxys and washed them down with a half a pint of whiskey.

[More advice for Rev Wright, and a look back on the person who accidentally discovered LSD after the jump.]
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McCain. Fuck dude.