Hey ladies and gentlemen, a joyous Mayday to you! The birds are twittering, the roses are blooming, and wait—what’s that noise? It’s a crunchy sound… Could it be??? Yes… I think it is! It’s the crumbling of a megastar’s musical credibility…

This Friday (May 2nd) you can watch your favorite richass popstar sell-out big on BET’s 106 & Park. Who could it be? Here’s some clues: she’ll be there promoting her new album Hard Candy, rappin’ with the hosts about what to expect in the next 50 years of her career, making them do dumb yoga poses with her, and most importantly, introducing the debut premiere of her single “4 Minutes” with Justin Timberlake, produced by Timbaland. Have you figured out who it is yet? Nope, not Rhianna. Not Beyonce. No, it’s Madonna, dude! And judging by the comments on XXL’s blog, the rap community isn’t exactly stoked that this 50-year-old white chick is reinventing herself on their turf.

Sorry, Madge, you’re just too successful for anyone to relate to you anymore. You should hold a free concert or something.

I’m not big on competition in music, or enshrining artists’ feet in concrete, or bidding on eBay for locks of so and so’s hair - it just seems to defeat the purposes of free-reign creativity. And while I don’t think that rock ‘n’ roll ever needed a Hall of Fame, its nomination process and subsequent ballyhooing ceremony nevertheless persists every year with new inductees. I almost always marvel at the rad collaborations they acquire though, and almost cried when Elvis Costello was inducted a few years ago, so never mind me. For those interested, this year’s inductees include (get ready to feel old…):

Afrika Bambaataa, Beastie Boys, Chic, Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five, Madonna, John Mellencamp, Donna Summer and The Ventures.

The official press release hits the wire on December 13th. We’d like to thank the Foundation for reminding us that we are no longer eligible to fight for our individual rights to party, and that living in a material world is indeed a thing of the past.