[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Coming Soon

It’s a well-known fact that people like to adapt movies from books. It’s also a well-known fact that most of these efforts suck. So it’s my job to warn you about upcoming adaptations so you have ample time to read the book. This gives you the chance to complain about inconsistencies and general “suckiness” while still in the theater, making you look learned and therefore more attractive. You can thank me later.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, July 4th: This is a documentary, so I guess it won’t really do to get mad about liberties taken with the adaptation. But it can’t hurt to read some of the famous Gonzo’s work if only for your own amusement. From the description it seems like the filmmakers are big fans, which can be bad in a documentary if you’re trying to eek out truth. The gist I get is that the point the film makes is that Thompson did what journalists are too afraid to do nowadays, namely get high and write caustic things about politicians. This may be true, but I easily tire of ‘60s and ‘70s nostalgia. Sure people were a bit crazier back then and I’m sure there are things to be learned from that era, but it’s over, so deal.

Journey To the Center of the Earth 3D, July 11th: Based on the classic Jules Verne novel about a rogue scientist who travels to, you guessed it, the center of the earth. According to Wikipedia, this novel didn’t age as well as some of Verne’s other works, because he was mostly wrong about what is contained in the center of the earth. However, none of that really matters because this movie is in 3D. And I will watch anything in 3D, even if it stars Brendan Fraser.

more upcoming adaptations after the jump.
(more…)

Like many comedians, Mike Myers has had some career ups and downs. Sure Wayne’s World, So I Married an Ax Murderer and the first Austin Powers movies cannot be touched, but I wasn’t sold on the rest of the Powers franchise, and Shrek always kinda bugged the bejesus out of me. Until I see if for myself I will reserve judgment on his new feature film, The Love Guru (in theaters 6/20).

The plot follows Pitka (Myers), an American baby left at an Indian Ashram doorstep and raised by mystics, and his rise to fame and fortune as a self-help guru. His newest mission is to reunite a black hockey player (I know, HA-HA) with his estranged wife so that he can win the Stanley Cup…or something like that. I don’t know, I kinda spaced out half-way through the second Rehashed Austin Powers joke. Oh yeah, shoot, I’m supposed to be reserving my judgment…

In the plus side, there are a few Hindu Spiritual Leaders already up in arms about the film, namely Rajan Zed who read the first Hindu Prayer in the US Senate in 2007. But I actually take the upsetting of fundamentalists to be a good sign for the movie. Comedy should be swatting the bee hive a little bit. In comedic terms, “safe” is another way of saying “shite.”

Anyway, here’s the trailer:

I’m glad Cornershop is making some sync rights money from the movie. Their “When I Was Born For the Seventh Time” album was way fun back in the day.

The most difficult bog I’ve ever had to ‘write.”

More “journalism” after the jump. (it gets better) (more…)

John, that’s “Cougar” to you, Mellencamp is due out with his 23rd album on July the 15th. Title of record? Life, Death, Love and Freedom. Considering his last release was entitled Freedom Road and rode a brown water wave off the ham hock Chevy truck mega hit “Our Country,” I would have to say that Life, Death, Love and Freedom is one of the worst album names in the history of music. I don’t think Mellencamp is a bad guy; his intentions are good and he sings out against racism and the likes. But shouldn’t there be a limit to the amount of cheese on that burger, John?

Meet (damnit Im going to mess up his name) Johan. Ja-Han? Jo(hic)an? Yo-han? Jah-Hawn?

It was loud, and he was sorta loaded - so I couldn’t hear him 100%.
Anyway.
Met this gent at LaSalles on Wednesday night.
Nice guy. Likes Synthesis. A LOT.
We make his day. He reads the blogsite daily, digs the podcasts, grabs the paper weekly.
Knows what we got going on, feels we have our finger on the pulse of life -
This guy is more dedicated to our brand than most of our staff - its insane.

To all the J-Dawgs of the world, Thank You.