This is way more entertaining than wasting $9 to see Shia LaBeouf on the big screen. I never realized the abilities of Legos.

So last night Synthesis designer www.RyanWheaton.co.uk hit me up and sent me a link to Cockeyed.com, which is a pretty cool site containing articles of wonderful randomness (Pranks? Naughty food items? 1,000 photos of some grrl named Amber? You got it!). The piece in question was a blog about removable tattoos available at Toys R Us. But not the lovable ladybug / smiley-sun / rainbows-and-pot-of-gold icons I remember from my removable tattoo days. No. Removable Lower back Tattoos. Fucking Tramp Stamps for Kiddies.

Now, I’m no prude. I appreciate it when girls give you a target to aim at and everything, but back tattoos aren’t necessarily the classiest thing. Nothing to get kicked out of bed for, but still… HOWEVER, removable back tattoos for CHILDREN is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard (and this is coming from the guy who references amputee porn in a blog about the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant…). Fucking pop that butterfly pattern over your 3rd grade honor student’s ass, get her ready to spread it around town by Jr. High. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck…CLASSY!

What really fucks me up a little is that the Cockeyed article uses pictures from the Toys R Us at Arden fair Mall in Sacramento - the same place my mom bought my Legos, Nintendo games and GI Joes. The really sad thing is I’m pretty sure my half-sister would squeal “HOW CUTE! GIMME” and immediately plaster it on her 2 year old’s rumpback. Eghad, babies making babies making bad decisions. Thanks Toys R Us, just…thanks.

On behalf of the Synthesis family I’d like to extend our congratulations to the Lego company. Today marks the 50th anniversary of Denmark’s Lego company registering the original patent for the Lego block. Responsible for countless hours of imaginative construction (and, as many parents can attest, countless barefooted midnight encounters with those durable, plastic little land mines). So thanks, Lego, for providing me with my play-toy of choice as a child, and also, the roundabout ways in which you keep me gainfully employed in early adulthood.
Check out the Lego time line for some fascinating…sorry, for some nearly fascinating trivia garbage. Such as:

• More than 400 billion LEGO bricks have been produced since 1949.
and
• 40 billion LEGO bricks stacked on top of one another would connect the earth with the moon.

And here’s one for old-time sakes: