For some odd reason I found myself typing ‘douchebag’ into google. Probably to see if I could find anyone talking about how cool I am. I soon landed upon a website of sheer comedic social commentary genius.

Ever go to a bar or some random party and see your average Laguna Beach saturated barbie girl being nor cal’d to death by every strap on sporting Famous Stars and Straps, diamond earrings and a popped collar? As if these women were buckets of chum floating around in shark filled waters, the guy that runs this site is the Jacques Cousteau of doucheanic studies.

Behold the blog site that is Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Pinky

Certain club choads have such intense powers of dark douchebaggery, they can mutate hotties into sponanteous douchebaguettes with merely a touch of their greasy paws.

From stage-1 innocent to stage-4 Bleeth in under 60 seconds. It’s like an Infiniti G37 test drive. If instead of a luxury car, you were test driving a shopping cart filled with aardvark spittle.

Witness Pinky. Pinky’s double collar pop and 85 degree pink hat tilt is a swirling cyclone of ‘bag. A typhoon of earthquake rattling wank.

Pity the once sweet cutie, nearly passing out from stage-4 Douche Virus overload.

She cannot come back from the dark side of Yang-scrote. The power of Pinky compels her. And no douchesorcism can cure that fetid jungle swamp mulch.

Gotta love them fucked up old kids who can keep a blogging job for over a month.

Mud Dizzuck up in this piece! Sorry for lagging on the posts for this site, but I’ve been super busy traveling and such after a mainey SXSW experience. Its too late to blog about that and everyone is probably sick of hearing about it, so I’ll skip to the meaty parts of my message.

This is kind of crazy, but I was at Cinespace the other night and those beezies from that MTV OC show and now The Hill or some shit came to get their drink on. They were telling me who they were right off the bat, like I watch MTV anymore. So they sat down and were killing shots of vodka because they said they were watching their weight, and ended up spilling their guts to me. This one girl, Lauren, told me that she was mad at her boyfriend because he is going to jail soon and wants to sell their sex tapes. I’d watch that shit. Lauren and her full figured friend should make a video with me. I know a thing or two from just being a fan of the art. I go to all the conventions. I met Jack Lawrence once.

Anyway, we started talking about movies and they told me their friend Trishelle was in a new movie and how its going to be a blockbuster. Lauren and Heidi seemed to really look up to her and said they would love to follow in Trishelle’s footsteps. I hope they do, they were cute girls….almost as nice of a duo as the two hotties Rose McGowan and Rosario Dawson who grace the cover of Rolling Stone this month. Also in this month’s Rolling Stone are features on Marilyn Manson, Kelly Clarkson and Maroon 5. Rolling Stone is always on the cutting edge of music.

They continued to tell me stories. This time it was about their friend Jennifer Love Hewitt who went crazy on her new neighbors after one of them pissed on her lawn. I would hate to live next to that bitch. The girls said she got them evicted! If she did that to me, I would go Freddy Kruger on her ass. Or even borrow a Red Rider BB Gun and shoot her eye out.

Lauren and Heidi then left to go hang out with that one dude who does the Girls Gone Wild movies before he goes on vacation or something. They drank a bottle of my vodka and didn’t even leave a tip.

Always educating while fornicating - Mud Duck